


GENERAL

by sephypoo



Category: Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-18 12:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3570185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephypoo/pseuds/sephypoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even in death he couldn't relax. Sephiroth is given another life very different from his life as Shinra's property. This is a little tale of karma with a sprinkling of spiritual penance for my favorite FFVII character. Also I had a little too much fun killing off one of my least favorites.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

GENERAL CH 1

 

Round and round…being in the Lifestream was like being in a blender to Sephiroth…in a blender on pulse that let the particles settle and before ripping into them again. He didn’t feel any physical pain anymore, but the constant pulling back together the parts of himself was exhausting. He wasn’t joining with the Lifestream and had no idea who kept hitting the puree button. He never had a chance in his last life. Trying to scream was futile. Trying to speak to Gaia was futile. He didn’t know what was supposed to happen next because when he had died before it wasn’t like this.

Sephiroth had no concept of time nor any way to see what was happening to those he left behind so he had no way of knowing that everyone who had survived the stigma was having their happily ever after. The most frustrating part was that he didn’t know how long he had endured this endless cycle of being ripped apart only to gather his drifting pieces back together.

He was conscious of everything that pertained to his last life. He relived the memories from his earliest to his final death at the hands of that grumpy blonde with the stupid sword that turned his body into a sieve. He remembered the torture he suffered at the hands of Hojo as well as the bliss of sending his sorry ass to the Lifestream with the sword that he had given him. He remembered his few friends and fewer lovers as well as the many enemies he had. Things were revealed to him once he entered the Lifestream like his true parentage and even a child that he had fathered in his youth that was murdered by its mother. He learned more about himself than he would have been able to process with his physical mind because of the experiments and cruelty he had endured.

He was angry for what could have been a long time but his anger dulled to bitterness the more energy he exerted pulling himself together. He heard no voices of comfort or otherwise and he even tried just letting go and allowing his particles to scatter …he never joined the Lifestream though and it took far more effort to pull all of them back together.

Even in death he couldn’t relax. He remembered being a small child and afraid of Hojo and how relieved he was when someone else came for him to do tests or lessons or for meals. The nurses were nice to him when he was small. One of them got fired for giving him a cookie and the others just decided they needed to be craftier so they didn't get caught. He killed one of the others by accident in a fit of rage when he was12. That was the first death that he would never forgive himself for. There had been monsters before that but never a human; there were many more after her though.

After a time he seemed to be running out of anger and bitterness; he couldn’t remember why he had been angry to begin with. Then without warning he felt a sensation of compression and became aware that he was moving away from the Lifestream altogether. Stillness came over his consciousness and then in a flash, _that_ Sephiroth was no more.

 

“It’s a boy.” The doctor said flatly, handing the tiny baby off to a nurse who held him down for his mother to see.

Turning her head away she sobbed, “Just take him now please. He’s not mine anyway.”

Cleaned and swaddled and wailing the baby boy was presented to his new parents: Howard and Lucrecia Handefain. The birth mother was their daughter Raine who had left home as a young teen and showed up on their doorstep strung out on drugs and pregnant at 17. How the child had survived in such a polluted body, they had no idea but they took her back in and made sure every legal paper was signed so that the baby she gave birth to would be theirs alone. Raine was scheduled for release from the hospital the next day and would have nowhere to go. Part of the deal she made with them was that she would disappear from the child’s life and never return.

“It’s time to do the birth certificate Mr. and Mrs. Handefain. Have you chosen a name?” The head nurse asked happily. She was glad to see the baby go to a decent couple who could provide for him.

“His name is Vincent Sephiroth Handefain.” Lucrecia said proudly as Howard nodded his assent.

The paperwork all done, the new parents were informed that Raine had tested negative for any drugs therefore they shouldn’t worry about their little one being addicted. His unusual hair color was attributed to a gene most likely carried by the father, whoever he was. The couple left without saying goodbye to their daughter and their new son was taken to the nursery to be monitored overnight.

After eating the hospital dinner that night, Raine Handefain walked to the nursery to see her baby. He was sleeping quietly so she slipped in to be near him for a moment. Reading his name card she smiled. “Sephiroth” She whispered “Crown, wisdom, understanding, mercy, strength, beauty, victory, glory, foundation, and kingdom- you are blessed.” With that she bent and kissed his silver hair.

The Handefains received a call early the following morning from the hospital. They feared the worst as the waited for the doctor to come on the line. “Mr. and Mrs. Handefain, we need to see you at the hospital right away please.” The doctor said dully.

“Is it Sephiroth? Is he ok?!” Lucrecia nearly panicked.

“No ma’am. Sephiroth is fine and is cleared to leave with you today. It’s about your daughter Raine.”

“We’ll be there directly, doctor. Thank you for calling.” Howard said as he looked at his wife.

They dressed and had coffee before leaving for the hospital. Raine had always been a troubled child and the two professors were very strict disciplinarians. They weren’t surprised when she left home at 14 to live with one of her friends who had parents who were very…lax. They didn’t seek her out and she didn’t ever try to contact them. She hadn’t used her bank account so they assumed she had a job. Years passed with no word from her. They had enjoyed freedom from the stress of having a wayward teen until the day she came back dirty, hungry, addicted, and pregnant. The discussion was very short on what to do with her. They agreed on most things and Raine was in no position to fight them.

“I’m sorry to inform you that your daughter passed away last night from self-inflicted wounds to her wrists.” The doctor told them as they sat in his office.

Howard looked crestfallen, but Lucrecia looked relieved. They sat in silence and then asked a few questions about what would happen next. When they left the hospital they had Sephiroth with them. Later that afternoon all arrangements had been made for Raine’s body to be cremated. There would be no service, there would be no memorial; they didn’t even go back to claim her ashes.

Sephiroth grew into an independent and mischievous toddler. He excelled in school but his parents never attended school ceremonies or banquets when he was being honored. By the time he was 10 his teachers were becoming concerned. Sephiroth came to school with bruises and made the same excuses over and over. One his teachers called child services and the investigation turned up years of abuse. There were poorly healed breaks that had to have happened over summers for the teachers not to have noticed, broken molars from being hit in the face, his right eye had been damaged badly at some point and he only had 25% of his vision. He had also become adept at reading lips as he was hard of hearing from having his eardrums damaged repeatedly by blows to the head.

The teachers were briefed on his situation and they all were speechless. Sephiroth never complained. He never spoke ill of his parents and he never fought at school. One teacher cried openly and offered to take Sephiroth into her home until he could be placed properly. She was denied of course as the state had taken custody of him already.

When child protective services came to take Sephiroth away they found him home alone. The house he lived in was in an affluent community but apparently his parents were away most of the time and the power had been shut off. Sephiroth opened the door, bag in hand.

“Where are your parents Sephiroth? We need to speak with them if they’re here.” The male officer said as the lady reached for his hand.

“They left again after my doctor’s visit last week. They said goodbye.” Sephiroth spoke as if it was of no consequence and he was resigned to his fate.

The officers took him to the state children’s home where they left him in the care of a nurse. He was assigned to a room with another boy and was instructed not to fight. He was given a list of rules and a schedule then left to do his unpacking. The room had two twin beds, two dressers, and two desks. Everything matched but he could tell which bed was his because it wasn’t yet made. The linens and pillows were folded neatly in the center and there was another piece of paper on top of them. It read: make your bed daily before school please.

He stared at the note for a moment then dropped his things and went to work. After making his bed and putting away his clothes, he sat at his desk and completed an essay that was due the following week at school. The door to his new room opened and in walked a boy much smaller than him with blonde spikey hair. Sephiroth disliked him immediately and he had no idea why.

The boy looked at him strangely and said, “What’s up chicken butt?”

Sephiroth dropped his head and reviewed the rule sheet. #1 No Fighting “Hello, my name is Sephiroth. What’s your name?” He asked as politely as he could after just having been called a chicken butt.

“I’m Cloud. Your folks hippies too huh?” The blonde said smacking on some chewing gum that Sephiroth silently hoped he would choke on. “So how old are you Seph?”

Sephiroth cringed at the nickname but answered anyway after once again looking down at #1. “I’m 10...my birthday is in March.”

“Cool. I’m 10 too but my birthday’s in August.” Cloud whacked away at the gum. “Hey, you hungry?”

“Yes…when is dinner?” Sephiroth asked thinking of the cold cuts and water he had been subsisting on for the past week since his parents left.

“Soon.” Cloud said and then flopped on his bed. “You know when we turn 12 we get different rooms. Cause of puberty. Do you know what that is?”

“Yes…” Sephiroth said as he winced at the smacking of the gum. He sat on his bed and stared at the window.

“Do you miss your folks?” Cloud said as he began to blow bubbles and pop them.

“No. They weren’t around much anyway. I miss my house I guess.” Sephiroth said beginning to feel a little more relaxed. After all, at least here he fit in. None of the kids had parents who wanted them. “Do you miss yours?’ Sephiroth asked Cloud.

“Nope. They died when I was really small.”

You’re really small now, Sephiroth thought as he decided the gum would have to be flushed down the toilet as soon as the kid was asleep.

Then Cloud added, “I was dopted once but they changed their mind. I don’t remember much about ‘em. I was just 5.”

Dinner reminded Sephiroth of school. They went to a large cafeteria and sat at big tables. Cloud talked the entire time. “We have to sit with our roommates but after we eat we’re allowed to go to the rec room til 8 but I don’t usually stay that long. All the older kids stay as long as they can and some of them make out with their girlfriends or boyfriends. It’s disgusting.”

Sephiroth listened and was grateful when Cloud dropped his gum in the garbage on the way to the table. They sat near some girls who were staring at Sephiroth. Cloud looked at the girls and said, “This is Sephiroth my new roomie. Seph …these are my bitches.”

The girls started laughing instead of being mad and they all came around and hugged Cloud and then turned to Sephiroth hugging him too, making him blush before they went back to their seats across the table. Cloud boasted, “My bitches are older and they look out for me. Tifa is 13, Yuffie is 12 and Aerith is 14.”

Sephiroth nodded to them and smiled as he ate the food on his tray. They were pretty, he thought. They seemed to put him at ease and he was beginning to think this might not be such a bad move after all.  
  
After dinner in the rec room there were games to play and a TV that was apparently controlled by the staff. He looked around at everyone and realized that he and Cloud were the youngest there. And Cloud was the smallest kid there. A group of teenagers approached them and smiled at Cloud and nodded to Sephiroth.

Cloud spoke up for him, of course. “Hey guys this is Sephiroth my new roomie. Seph this is Edge, Cecil, Kain, Rydia, and Rosa.” Cloud said with a bit of pride in his voice.

The one Cloud called Edge looked down at Sephiroth and smiled, “So how do you like it so far?”

Sephiroth smiled up at the fellow silver haired boy and said “I like it.”

“Good, beats the streets right? This is my last year here little man but Cecil here and Kain will look out for you ok?” Edge said as Cloud dropped his head a bit.

Sephiroth saw Cloud’s change in demeanor and asked, “Where are you going?”

Edge smiled and put his hand on Sephiroth’s shoulder. “I’m 17…aging out. When I turn 18 I’ll be on my own.”

Sephiroth looked back at Cloud and reached to put a hand on his roomie’s shoulder. Cloud looked at Sephiroth and smiled a bit. “I’ll still be here Cloud.” Sephiroth said.

The two girls cooed at that and the other boys chuckled. “He’s gonna be a good one.” Kain said. “Another Edge!”

Edge laughed and patted Sephiroth’s shoulder and nodded. They talked more about the home and Cloud promised to give Sephiroth the tour the next day after classes. “After that, Edge will talk to you again and give you a job.” Cloud informed him before the left the rec room and headed to their dorm.

Sephiroth kept looking back at the green haired girl named Rydia. She was beautiful and he thought he might like to have a girlfriend like her one day. Inside the room they prepared for bed.

“What kind of job will I have?” He asked Cloud who looked at him discerningly for a moment and said “Depends on what you’re good at. How fast can you run?”

Sephiroth looked confused. “I can run pretty fast. I’m a little tall for my age so maybe I’m a little faster than other 10 year olds.”

“Maybe he’ll let you go out with me then…since we’re friends now. We are friends right?” Cloud asked.

“Of course…you’re my only friend Cloud.” Sephiroth said as he realized that his initial feelings for the other boy had changed. Cloud made him feel at ease. He felt everything would be ok as long as he was with Cloud. He imagined that Cloud must feel that way about Edge. He looked sad when Edge mentioned leaving and that made Sephiroth want to make him happy again.

“How much longer Cloud? Til Edge leaves I mean.”

“Bout six months…he’s been here the whole time I have. When I was little I got picked on but he made everyone leave me alone. Then Cecil and Kain said I should come work for Edge cause I was a cute kid and people would trust me. So I did and now, I’m the best pick-pocket around!”

Sephiroth knew what a pick-pocket was and he knew it was stealing. He thought carefully and then asked. “Do you get anything or do you give it all to Edge?”

“I give him what I don’t wanna keep. He doesn’t make me give him anything but sometimes I do anyway. So when he gets out he can have money to eat. He says he will get a job and be ok but it sucks being hungry.” Cloud said as he crawled into bed. “So you wanna learn?”

“Sure!” Sephiroth said. “I won’t be as good as you though.”

“Why you say?” Cloud raised his head to look at Sephiroth’s face.

“Well because I’m not a cute little kid like you.” Sephiroth said yawning.

Cloud smiled and they heard a short bell then the lights went out. “Night Seph.”

“Night Cloud.”

That night Sephiroth dreamed of far-away places with strange creatures. When he woke it was almost time to eat again. He was definitely going to like this. After breakfast they were bussed to their schools. Since he had moved he had to go to a new school…Cloud’s school. He realized that school was a lot different from the home. Cloud got picked on a lot and Sephiroth decided that it was his duty as a friend to put a stop to it.

On his first day at his new school he got into three fistfights making him an instant celebrity and got his first kiss…on the cheek. After school they didn’t board the bus and he asked Cloud why. “Time to go to work.” Cloud said smiling.

The two quickly learned that they worked well as a team. Cloud could distract people while Sephiroth’s long skinny arms could reach and hold far more than Cloud’s could. They were excited when they got back to the home. They couldn’t wait to tell Edge how well they had done on Sephiroth’s first day. Inside Cloud gave Sephiroth the tour and he made mental notes of the different areas that were important like the girls’ dorms.

They ran in to Cecil in the hallway and he invited them to his room. They strolled in and sat down on the bed. “So how did you guys do today?”

“We did great. Seph is really good already. He had some good ideas.” Cloud spouted.

Cecil smiled and patted their shoulders. “You know I’ve had a couple people ask me if we are related Seph…or if you’re related to Edge. I guess it’s the hair.”

Sephiroth smiled. “I’m glad I’m not the only one here. At my old school, not a single other person had silver hair.”

“So how was the new school today?” Cecil asked.

Cloud couldn’t contain himself. “Seph got into three fights today!”

“Why?” Cecil looked concerned.

“Kids were pickin on Cloud and I didn’t like it. They were all bigger and older than him. It was unfair.” Sephiroth said bluntly feeling a tiny bit good about himself.

Cecil smiled and opened his mouth to speak when Kain walked in. His hair was long and blonde and Sephiroth thought he looked cool. His own hair was straight like Kain’s and he decided right then that he was never cutting his hair again. Cecil filled Kain in on what Cloud had told him about Sephiroth and Kain also looked pleased.

“Blessed are the peace makers little man.” He said as he patted his back, “Even if we have to make a little war to get that peace, right?”

Sephiroth smiled and nodded. He belonged. He did a good thing today. He had friends. These two days had been better than all his previous years combined. He was an orphan, but he was happy.


	2. Chapter 2

GENERAL

CH 2

 

Sephiroth fell into life at the home seamlessly and became a known protector and defender of Cloud and all the girls. His 11th birthday came and went and when Edge’s birthday came and they had a send-off party for him. It was a sad affair and late that night Cloud was inconsolable. Sephiroth assured him that he would see Edge again, probably sooner than he thought.

Sure enough, the next day after school Edge was waiting for the boys and took them for sodas and candy. When summer came, Sephiroth found that he got a lot more done when he and Cloud went to work. The tourists were really gullible and it made for a good take. Communicating on crowded streets was tough until they began to use sign language. When work was over Sephiroth always carried Cloud home piggyback.

They ran into Edge one afternoon and he told them about his new boss Seifer. “I make plenty of money and when you guys are older, you can come work for him too. I mean you know the basics already. It’s not much different. I have to carry a gun…for my own protection. But it’s cool.” Edge told the pre-teens as they munched on junk food. “Wow you know Seph you are getting really tall. You could probably come to work for him sooner than you think.”

“Really? That would be cool. I’ve been trying to make a little extra money before Rydia’s birthday.” He admitted with a slight blush.

“You still pine after her? She’s still with Kain right?” Edge asked.

“Yes!” Cloud piped up smacking his lips as he chewed his candy, “But she told Seph when he turns 12 she’ll teach him to kiss. So…”

Edge roared and Sephiroth blushed. Cloud swallowed his candy and popped some bubble gum into his mouth as he grinned at Sephiroth. “She also said that he’s gonna be hot when he grows up!”

That only added to the embarrassment Sephiroth already felt but Edge’s laughter was contagious and he began to chuckle.

Cloud squawked, “PLUS! She said she would teach him…” Cloud slapped his hands over his mouth. Sephiroth’s eyes were huge and Edge was making an oh-shit face but he continued to laugh. “I wasn’t supposed to tell that part.” Cloud mumbled behind his hands.

“How do you know she said all of this?” Sephiroth glared at Cloud making Cloud giggle. He knew that Sephiroth would never do anything to hurt him. He trusted him with his life and everyone knew that they were best friends and shared everything.

“I was kinda outside Aerith’s door and I heard her talking to Tifa about you and she may have said that she liked you…well…I mentioned it to Rydia cause well, she’s got Kain so why would she care right? But she got pissy and said she would be watching Aerith. She said that Aerith wasn’t good enough for you…and that’s when she said she would um…teach you things when you were older…and she went on about your hair and your green eyes…it was disgusting.” Cloud looked down at his feet smiling.

Sephiroth pondered what he had heard knowing that Cloud would never lie to him…especially about his crush. “So Aerith likes me for real? And Rydia? Wow…wonder why?” Sephiroth pondered and Edge clapped him on the shoulder.

“It’s the hair dude…definitely the hair.” He grinned at Sephiroth and Sephiroth returned his smile and ran his hand through his hair. He hadn’t cut it and it was growing long and straight. From that afternoon he couldn’t wait to grow up.

 

Time flew by for the busy little thieves. They accumulated quite the stash and had to get Edge to help them unload some of the items. He always brought them the cash and they split it equally. Sephiroth didn’t have to fight at school anymore since he was the biggest kid there but he was about to be 12, and in middle school he would need to start over.

Cloud was growing stronger but not taller. He was just going to be a runt Sephiroth guessed, but he would protect him. Cloud had confided in him that the reason he was small was because he was born addicted and premature. He still sucked his thumb at night like a baby but Sephiroth vowed never to tell anyone. And in turn Cloud didn’t tell anyone that Sephiroth was hard of hearing, blind in his right eye or that he cried in his sleep.

 

Sephiroth gave Rydia emerald earrings for her birthday that he bought with half his stash. Kain winked at him, knowing that he had a crush on his girlfriend but assuming that it was all just a silly kid crush. Kain was 17 and Rydia was turning 15 so Sephiroth being about 12 posed no threat to him. He didn’t pick up on the growing animosity between Rydia and Aerith. As time went on he just figured they grew apart.

Cecil and Rosa were watching with amusement and thought they should warn Kain but then decided against it. Kain took Rydia for granted and would be aging out and leaving her behind soon anyway. Even if it blew up before Kain left they knew that he would respect Rydia’s choice but only because it was Sephiroth. Maybe it was the timing when he showed up, right before Edge left them or maybe it was because at times he seemed so much older than his years but everyone liked Sephiroth.

After Rydia’s birthday dinner and before lights out, Sephiroth whispered to Cloud, “Cloud who do you like better: Rydia or Aerith?”

Cloud rolled over to face him and he could faintly hear the pop of his thumb coming out of his mouth. Honestly that kid had the noisiest mouth of anyone he had ever met. “Well, Aerith is pretty and has nice boobs…but she’s kinda plain-Jane. Rydia is pretty and she is tiny…teeny…and she’s flashy and funny. Aerith is sweet but she’s quiet. With you being quiet too, you guys would probably just sit and stare at each other. It would be weird. So I guess if I was pickin for you, which I probably am…I’d pick Rydia.”

“Do you like Aerith for yourself, Cloud?” Sephiroth asked, knowing his buddy was a total boob man.

“Yeah, there’s that…” Cloud chuckled.

“What about Tifa? She has huge boobs!” Sephiroth giggled.

Cloud laughed and said, “Yeah but my guess is that she probably has a huge dick to match. That bitch is mean!”

The boys laughed until they fell asleep but Sephiroth woke to a flash of light. He rubbed his eyes and looked over at the sleeping form sucking its thumb and shook his head. He saw another flash and got up. On his way to the door he gently tugged Cloud’s thumb out of his mouth just in case someone wanted to come in, they wouldn’t see. He cracked the door open and peeked out. Rydia stood there and hissed, “Let me in before I get busted.”

Sephiroth opened the door wider and pulled her inside. He looked down the hallway and didn’t see anyone so he closed the door and turned to her. “Is something wrong Rydia?”

She watched him rub his eyes and smiled, “No. I just wanted to thank you again for the earrings. They really are beautiful.”

Sephiroth focused with his left eye but in the without the lamp he couldn’t read her lips. “Let me turn on the lamp, I can’t see what you’re saying.”

When the lamp came on she was staring right at his face looking confused. Then her confusion faded and she smiled. “I didn’t know you were hard of hearing. I just thought you like for people to face you out of respect when they were talking to you.” She was whispering and giggling quietly.

He smiled back at her and shrugged. “Nah, I’m not that cool. So what was it you wanted?”

“I wanted to give you this…” She crossed the small dorm and put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him. He looked shocked and embarrassed at the same time and all he could do was stare. She smiled at him and bit her lip then kissed him again. This time he smiled and she seemed satisfied. “Was that a good thank you?”

He nodded smiling but instead of replying, he put his finger under her chin and kissed her. She giggled and whispered, “You little Romeo.” Then winked at him and left.

As soon as she was out the door he woke Cloud up to tell him. Cloud was happy for him and said, “Can I have Aerith then?”

Sephiroth laughed, “I think that’s up to Aerith.”

 

The boys watched their friends drift out of the house one by one. Kain left, then Cecil and Rosa. Other kids went too that weren’t necessarily part of their group. A new kid came named Zack but got adopted almost immediately. They still saw Edge on the street sometimes and he kept them informed on what was happening in his life. He told them that he had gotten away from Seifer because he didn’t agree with how he ran things. He got a regular job as a bartender and they saw less and less of him and none of Kain and Cecil because they joined the military. Edge had told them that Cecil and Rosa had gotten married and were expecting a baby.

On the way home one afternoon, Cloud stopped Sephiroth. “Let’s talk…”

Sephiroth followed him to the old playground they passed every day and he began to worry. Cloud was never serious. They strolled over to the old swings and sat. Cloud looked at his best friend. They were 15 now and he looked 13 while Sephiroth looked 18. Cloud had a soft voice and Sephiroth sounded very authoritative. He had gotten over his crush on Aerith long ago and she had left the home the previous February.

He studied Sephiroth’s open expression as he waited to hear what Cloud had to say. Taking a deep breath he began. “Seph…there’s somethin I need to tell you and I will totally understand if you wanna switch rooms or whatever…”

He watched Sephiroth’s eyebrows climb as his face lost what little color it had. “Remember when I had that crush on Aerith when we were kids?”

Sephiroth nodded and lit a cigarette and Cloud turned his gaze to the sand under their feet. “Remember when she didn’t like me, and you told me she was stupid because I was great?”

Again Sephiroth nodded and dropped his head a bit to try and see Cloud’s face. Cloud turned his face away, the knowing Sephiroth wouldn’t know what he said so he turned back. “Do you remember when I was 14…my first kiss?”

Sephiroth nodded and leaned his head back blowing smoke at the sky. “I remember all of that Cloud. Where are you going with this?”

Cloud waited for him to look back at his face then said, “I told you last winter that I had a crush and I was afraid to tell the person because it was a guy.”

Sephiroth looked at Cloud solemnly and nodded once.

“It’s you.” Cloud said and then closed his eyes so he didn’t have to see his best friend’s face but could finish what he needed to say. “I’ve tried to ignore it but I just …I don’t want to. But it’s killing me to watch you and Rydia together. I care about you Seph…and I always will…even if you never return my feelings, you’re still my best friend.”

Sephiroth sat for a long moment smoking and thinking. He looked at Cloud’s boyish face and soft, fluffy blonde hair. Even though his eyes were closed he knew the exact shade of blue they were. Their friendship meant more to Sephiroth than anything.

He sighed then he spoke. “Cloud…I don’t know what to say really. I’m sorry you’re hurt by seeing me with her. I didn’t know or…I don’t know …we would’ve stopped coming to the room together or somethin. I don’t wanna change rooms but I don’t wanna hurt you anymore either. Tell me what will make it better. Should I be an asshole so you’ll hate me?”

Cloud laughed at that and said, “You’re already an asshole but I could never hate you.” He opened his eyes to see Sephiroth staring right into his blues; his face a mask of concern and guilt.

“Tell me what to do Cloud. I don’t want our friendship to change…” Sephiroth said sounding a little afraid.

“It already has Seph.” Cloud said then looked away.

He sat and waited for his friend to speak. He heard the lighter and then he smelled the smoke and spun around glaring. “Are you trying to go to jail? You idiot!”

Sephiroth stared at him holding the smoke in and passed the joint to Cloud who snatched it away and hit it twice before passing back. Sephiroth chuckled. “Greedy bitch.”

Cloud giggled and said, “Yeah…I am.”

Sephiroth nodded and said, “You are…you can’t just be my best friend you wanna be my boyfriend too.”

Cloud’s head whipped around and he snatched the rest of the joint and hopped off his swing only to climb to the top of the jungle gym and sit where he smoked the rest. Sephiroth made his way over asking Cloud to come down. Cloud sat and stared. “Come down Cloud and let’s go. I’m hungry.”

Cloud stared silently for a moment then made his way to the edge nearest his friend. He turned his back and flipped upside down so that his face was upside down right in front of Sephiroth’s laughing face. Cloud grinned. “Come down now, you’re getting silly.” Sephiroth giggled.

“I think I blame you for everything.” Cloud said.

“It’s my fault you’re gay?” Sephiroth said laughing. “Ok, let’s hear it. Why is it my fault? But tell me while we’re walking toward food please.”

Cloud’s face was turning red but he kept hanging. “Only if you let me piggy.”

“Deal. Now get down before you have a nosebleed.” Sephiroth snorted.

Cloud swung down and then put his hands on Sephiroth’s shoulders and hopped. Sephiroth grabbed his thighs and hiked him as they walked toward the sidewalk to head home. They had done this since they were 12 and no one, least of all the two of them thought anything of it. Cloud laid his head on Sephiroth’s shoulder so he could speak directly into his ear as was the custom since he couldn’t see his lips. Sephiroth had hearing aids but he had outgrown the ear-molds so quickly that he often just didn’t bother with them. The state had fixed his broken molars immediately when he moved to the home but the more expensive things took time.

“You said you remembered my first kiss…” Cloud said.

“Of course because I’m…oh I see how it is!’ Sephiroth laughed. “Are you trying to say I made you gay by kissing you last year?” They both laughed.

“No…but I was happily in denial until then.” Cloud said honestly.

They stopped at a crosswalk to wait on traffic and Cloud leaned up to move Sephiroth’s hair to the shoulder opposite the one he laid his head on. Sephiroth looked down at Cloud’s little feet sticking out and thought about what he had said. He jogged across the street bouncing Cloud and making him laugh. Cloud laid his head back down and breathed deeply, closing his eyes.

“Seph…do you wanna change rooms?” He asked hoping that what he said earlier hadn’t changed.

“No.” Sephiroth said as he hiked Cloud up once more.

“Seph…will you understand if I can’t be there when you are with Rydia?”

“Of course.” Sephiroth answered and then stopped to wait on a light.

“Seph…” at this point they were both smiling because Cloud knew he was annoying his friend on purpose. “Will you still treat me the same?”

“Absolutely not.” He said and they both roared. “No more kisses for you! And no more seeing me naked after a shower! And no more creeping into bed after my nightmares!” Sephiroth stated firmly between snickers.

“Noooooo!!!!” Cloud howled and they both laughed until Sephiroth nearly dropped him. Cloud shrieked and they laughed a little more but got it under control before they entered the home. He continued up the stairs with Cloud on his back and everyone waved at them or nodded.

“Seph…” Cloud said as they went through their door and Sephiroth backed up to Cloud’s bed dropping him then turned and said, “Hmm?”

“Thanks.” Cloud said with a smile. Sephiroth nodded as he looked down at his friend. He was going to turn the tables on him.

“Cloud?” He said in his most alluring voice.

“What?’ Cloud said, wondering what kind of bullshit his friend was about to spout.

“Will you still do my hair…and help me with my essays…and wake me up when I have bad dreams?” Sephiroth was serious and Cloud was surprised.

“Of course, Seph.” Cloud said as he smiled. Sephiroth nodded and then pulled him up off the bed. “Good let’s eat, I’m starving.”

In the hallway Cloud was grumbling about Sephiroth being a bottomless pit when Rydia approached them. Sephiroth grabbed her waist and hoisted her over his shoulder not even slowing down. She braced her hands against his waist and looked at Cloud. “Hi Cloud. Are we going to the cafeteria?”

Cloud smiled at her, “Yes how did you know?”

She let herself hang then, green hair spilling down like a freaky waterfall. “Lucky guess.”

That night Sephiroth sneaked back into their room late having gone to Rydia’s room after dinner. He went to shower and then slipped quietly past Cloud’s bed, tugging his thumb from his mouth before retiring for the night. He lay awake thinking of all the things he needed to tell Cloud. He had intended to tell him everything that afternoon, but the big gay elephant in the room got in the way. It could wait, but not too long.

Sephiroth had heard about some guys who made killer money downtown and he wanted to run it by Cloud before he got involved. Edge had told him about a kid named Reno who was about his age that hung around the bar where he worked on weekends. He said Reno made lots of money and he didn’t think he was a whore, so maybe he should look into it. Sephiroth knew that he only had three years left in the home and then he would be on the street. He had to save enough so that he and Cloud didn’t starve until they got jobs.

He never once thought of doing anything without Cloud. They had been together since his first day there and some silly boy crush wasn’t going to change that. They would always be together he thought, no matter what.


	3. Chapter 3

GENERAL CH 3

 

Cloud couldn’t find Sephiroth after dinner. He wasn’t in the rec room and neither was Rydia so he didn’t bother to go looking. He talked to the new kids about the home and assured them that if they had a problem they could come to him or Sephiroth and they would see to it that wrongs were righted. They had taken over after Edge, Kain, and Cecil had gone and was constantly on the lookout for the next generation. They only had three years left and didn’t want to leave the place without recruiting some new leaders to look out for the smaller kids. They didn’t have to, and their group wasn’t recognized by the home’s officials as any kind of assistance; they just did it because it was the right thing to do in a place where kids were left to their own devices for the most part.

Cloud wandered back to his room around 7:30 to find Sephiroth bent over his desk writing. “Hey, missed you in rec. Homework?” Cloud asked as he looked over his friend’s shoulder and spoke loudly enough for him to hear. He could clearly see that he was working on an n essay so he sat on the bed and waited for him to speak.

“Rydia dumped me.” Sephiroth said. “I didn’t feel like being around people.”

Cloud was shocked. How could she? Did she do it because she was about to leave or did she have another reason? Did she have a brain tumor or was she just blind? Girls didn’t dump guys like Sephiroth. Cloud tapped the desk so he would look up at his face. “Sorry Seph. Never saw that comin. Did she say why?”

“Said she’s leaving early cause she got into that college. She’s leavin tomorrow. She said she wanted to put all this behind her. All this includes me.” Sephiroth paused his writing again to look up at Cloud. “I really liked her but I kinda saw it comin.”

“Well, are you ok with it then?” Cloud asked.

Sephiroth shrugged. “Sure, I’ll just have to find someone else to sleep with.”

“Seph that’s so shitty!” Cloud laughed. “I love it!”

Sephiroth laughed and said, “Well, it is what it is. Now there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

He walked over to his bed so he could sit facing Cloud comfortably. Cloud kicked off his shoes and sat facing him. “Edge told me about this guy named Reno who hangs out around his bar on weekends. Says he makes a ton of money but he’s not exactly sure what he does. Says he doesn’t work for Seifer either so he’s probably not a whore. Wanna go check him out?” Sephiroth and Cloud didn’t do anything business-wise unless they both agreed on it.

“Sure.” Cloud said and then offered a sly grin. “Also Seph I have a solution to your problem of finding someone to sleep with.”

Sephiroth laughed and blushed as he said, “Sorry blondie but I’m not wreckin our friendship over that sweet little ass.”

“You called my ass sweet! That means I have a shot!” Cloud squealed making Sephiroth laugh harder. That’s what he was after anyhow. Sephiroth was generally a happy guy and Cloud hated to see him otherwise. He would do anything to make him laugh.

“I didn’t say you had a shot at anything!” Sephiroth guffawed.

“But you said and I quote ‘that sweet little ass’! That means I won’t die a lonely old maid! If the mighty Sephiroth finds my ass attractive, I might one day be courted by another fine ass gentleman like yourself.” Cloud shrieked with laughter as Sephiroth fell over on the bed holding his sides.

“You have potential to be such a slut Cloud.” He laughed at his friend watching him trample the bed getting up and going to the bathroom.

Cloud came back out wearing his bathrobe backward so that it looked like a dress. He had rolled up his pants so that his bare shins were showing from underneath. He sashayed over to where Sephiroth lay and said “ _Would you like to see my new dress?_ ” doing his very best Bette Davis impression.

Sephiroth cocked his head and said, “ _Well, yes that’s what I’ve been waitin for all day_.”

“ _Isn’t it lovely_?” Cloud said as he flapped the robe at his laughing friend.

“Cloudy it’s red!” Sephiroth played along with Cloud having watched the movie with him too many times to count at the dollar theater. They only showed classics and Cloud had fallen in love with Bette Davis and dragged Sephiroth down there every time one of her movies was playing.

“ _It’s gorgeously red!_ ” Cloud said as he spun around giggling.

Sephiroth laughed with him and reached up from the bed as Cloud noticed though he was laughing he had tears in his eyes. He jumped into Sephiroth’s arms terrified of what might have made him upset enough to cry. Maybe he cared more for Rydia than he appeared to. Cloud heard a soft whimper and he nearly panicked. “Don’t cry Seph…you’ll find another girl…a better one.” Cloud said into his ear.

“It’s not her Cloud, not really. It’s just…when she cut me loose like that…I…it was so quick and final. All I could think of was what I would do if you ever did that to me. I can lose everybody but you Cloud.” Sephiroth sniffed and in that instant they were 10 again.

Cloud wept quietly with his best friend and then took his face in his hands. “I will never do that to you Seph. You’ll never lose me…never.”

 

On Saturday Cloud and Sephiroth went downtown to meet this Reno guy that Edge was talking about. He had told them, “You can’t miss this guy. His hair is red…really red.”

Soon after arriving at the bar and sitting down for appetizers they saw him. Edge wasn’t lying. That was the reddest hair they had ever seen. Sephiroth snapped his fingers in front of Cloud’s face when he caught him looking at the guy’s ass. Cloud grinned fiendishly and looked away. Reno hung at the bar for a while and spoke with Edge while he worked then looked over his shoulder and nodded to them. After a few more minutes he walked over to their table. “What’s up yo. Edge said you boys might be looking for work.”

“Have a seat. My name’s Cloud and this is Sephiroth.” Cloud still did most of the talking even after 5 years.

Reno sat and nodded to Sephiroth. “So what I do is deliver things to people…and wait for them to be picked up. the pay is good but I can’t tell ya who does the payin yo. It’s not always the safest job, but it’s pretty easy considerin we’re still in school and can’t 9 to 5 it. Edge says you guys stay at the home uptown. We got a lot of business uptown and it would save me some leg work if you guys are interested.”

“It sounds simple enough.” Cloud said. “What do you think Seph?”

Sephiroth mulled it over and asked Reno, “What kinds of things would we be delivering?”

Reno smiled. “Wrapped or locked things that we don’t open or ask questions about yo.”

Sephiroth nodded and deferred to Cloud. “When do we start?” Cloud asked smiling and batting his eyes at Reno.

Reno smiled back and said, “Right away cutie.” Then he winked at Cloud setting his little heart aflutter.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

“Let me get the thing and I’ll be back this way. I can’t bring my work inside unless it’s small enough to conceal yo…and this isn’t. Meet me in the alley in about 30 minutes.”

As Reno walked away the both noticed that he wore nice clothes and his shoes looked new. “Is he wearing a school uniform?” Sephiroth asked.

“Looks like St. Mary’s” Cloud answered, and then added “Hot.”

Sephiroth mumbled under his breath and went back to eating. Cloud had never had a girlfriend or boyfriend before and Sephiroth wasn’t prepared to share. Cloud had given him his space to be with Rydia though, he thought then decided that Cloud was a much less selfish person than he was. Cloud tapped the table for Sephiroth’s attention and said, “Didn’t you like him?”

“He’s fine.” Sephiroth grunted around his mouthful of loaded nachos. Cloud watched him for a moment and Sephiroth said “What is it?”

“You just didn’t seem to like him is all…” Cloud said.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you.” Sephiroth said bluntly.

Cloud nodded and looked back down at his plate of half-eaten cheese fries. He chewed his lip but didn’t say another word about it. He knew Sephiroth was being selfish but maybe he would come around. Who knew, maybe Reno was just a flirt and didn’t even like him. That was probably the case Cloud thought. He was short and thin with weird hair and a goofy smile. What was to like? He picked at his food as Sephiroth inhaled his and paid the check.

 

Half an hour later they were in the alley chatting when Reno showed up with a black book bag. He handed the book bag off to Sephiroth and said, “Here’s the package and the address. A guy will be waitin this time but that’s not always the case yo. I’ll always let you know if someone will be waitin. On jobs when nobody is waitin you guys have to wait nearby and keep an eye on the package until it’s picked up. Got it? The guy you’re meeting will be out front. Don’t go inside just give him the bag. Long black hair, eye patch. He’ll give you your pay. Any questions?”

Cloud looked at Sephiroth who just shook his head to indicate he had none. “I have a question…” Cloud said with a tiny hint of a smile.

“What do ya wanna know blondie?” Reno smiled leaning closer to Cloud.

“Do you go to St. Mary’s?” Cloud asked as he blushed.

“I do. You recognize the uniform yo?” Reno said as he smoothed his hand down his black blazer. “I take my tie off after school to be comfortable but its Saturday and I haven’t been home since yesterday morning so…” Reno held out his hands as if to say this is what you get.

Sephiroth was furious and he knew he had no right to be. Who gave a fuck about some Catholic school rich kid out here acting like he had to hustle? What was so great about him anyway? His hair? That was ridiculous because he himself had great hair…even Edge had said so. After stewing and ignoring the chattering mouths in front of him he stepped closer to Cloud and said quietly, “We should go.”

Cloud looked up at him as if he had been scolded and Reno’s eyebrow went up. “It’s no hurry there yo. We were just talkin.”

Sephiroth lowered his gaze at Reno and said evenly. “I’m ready to get this over with and Cloud goes where I go.”

“Is that so yo? Always?” Reno turned Cloud’s face to him with the tip of a long pale finger.

Cloud nodded and said softly, “Seph is my best friend and he looks out for me…always has.”

Reno half smiled at Cloud and nodded. “I get it yo. Go ahead and head out. I’ll see ya back here tomorrow if you want more…work.”

Cloud blushed and grinned and Sephiroth stalked out of the alley leaving Cloud to catch up on his own. He damn sure wasn’t going to stand around and wait for them to kiss. He made it to the end of the block before he stopped to wait. There was no way he was leaving Cloud with that…guy. Soon he saw him trotting down the street toward him and he looked afraid. “What’s wrong? Did he hurt you?! I’ll kill him!”

Sephiroth had already started back when Cloud grabbed his arm. “Nooooo!” He looked down at Cloud scowling. He was the scariest angry person Cloud had ever seen. “He didn’t, he…nothing’s wrong like that…it was you. I thought you were angry at me and had left me.” Cloud said as plainly as he could.

Sephiroth shook his head. He had a hard time following when Cloud stuttered like that. Cloud repeated, “I thought you left me. I thought you were mad.”

Sephiroth’s face softened and he said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok Seph…I just want to get to know him a little. He likes me and nobody has ever liked me before.” Cloud said as they stood on the sidewalk letting other pedestrian walk by when the light changed.

“I like you.” Sephiroth said even though he knew what Cloud meant.

“Not like that and you know it. I wanna get laid!” Cloud said a little louder than he probably should making a few passers-by turn and look.

Sephiroth leaned his head back and laughed at Cloud who stomped his foot and shouted, “It’s not fair!”

This made Sephiroth laugh even harder. “One thing is a sure bet Cloud, if you keep hanging around with that guy, you’ll get laid...and I promise as your best friend, not to be angry.” Sephiroth thought for a moment and added. “You can tell me all about it when it happens and I’ll listen. I’m sorry I was…being selfish.”

Cloud hugged him and they walked away to make their delivery. The man with the eye patch was waiting and he only nodded as he handed them a manila envelope and took the bag then walked away. They went home and scrambled to their room to see what the take was. Cloud counted it first and Sephiroth counted it right behind him. $500. “Wow…what the hell was in that bag I wonder.” Cloud said.

“I don’t wanna know but at this rate we’ll be able to get our own place when we turn 18.” Sephiroth said excitedly. They put the money with their other savings and were getting ready for bed when Sephiroth stopped. “Do you wanna sneak out and see a movie?”

“I’d love to!” Cloud squealed. “A Streetcar named Desire is playing at the dollar movies again. I love that movie.”

“But Bette Davis isn’t in it.” Sephiroth said as he put his boots back on.

“I know but Vivien Leigh is and she’s…well…my next favorite.” Cloud said as he changed his shirt to something darker. Sephiroth watched him and wondered how he would deal with hearing Cloud talk about a guy touching him and kissing him. Would he be able to listen to that without feeling angry or jealous? Why would he be jealous? Jealous of his attention, yes.

 

 

They played cards until lights out then sneaked out to the street. Walking the 4 blocks to the dollar theater they were quiet as it was hard for Sephiroth to read his lips properly and walk in the dark with only one good eye. Cloud thought of all the things he would like to do to help Sephiroth if he had the money. He would like to get him proper hearing aids for one. It would be nice if he could get his eye fixed too. Maybe there was a surgery he could get.

They stopped and paid their dollar before getting popcorn and candy and sodas. They always sat near the front because the seats at the back were nasty. There was always at least one whore back there working. “You know I can’t read Brando but I remember most of his lines.” Sephiroth said.

“I can relay for you if you want…or were you going to…” Cloud’s face lit up.

“Are you going to be Blanche or Stella?” Sephiroth asked even though he already knew who Cloud would choose.

“Blanche of course!” Cloud hissed as the movie started.

Sephiroth knew most of Stanley’s lines from memory and he knew that if he messed them up Cloud wouldn’t care. They spoke their lines through the first half of the movie without much thought. Sephiroth quoting Stanley with a mouthful of popcorn wasn’t far off the mark of Brando’s delivery in the film. Cloud quoted Blanche with emotion and giggles.

“ _After all, a woman’s charm is fifty percent illusion_.” Cloud/Blanche said and Sephiroth turned to look at his profile thinking that his beauty was no illusion. He would protect him with his life.

When Sephiroth/Stanley yelled, “ _STEELLLLAAAAA!_ ” Cloud jumped at the volume and the laughed out loud in the nearly empty theater.

“ _What you are talking about is brutal desire–just–Desire_!” Cloud/Blanche said as he looked longingly at Sephiroth’s profile.

“ _I never was hard or self-sufficient enough. When people are soft–soft people have got_ _to  shim_ _mer and glow–they’ve got to put on soft colors, the colors of butterfly wings, and put a–paper lantern over the light...It isn’t enough to be soft. You’ve got to be soft and attractive._ ” Cloud/Blanche said and this time Sephiroth noticed him staring.

“You know…if he hurts you Cloud…I will kill him.” Sephiroth whispered. Cloud was looking at him as he chewed his gummy candy slowly, eyes flicking from Sephiroth’s very serious glare to his mouth and then back again. He nodded and then laid his head on Sephiroth’s shoulder. Something deep inside Sephiroth burned. He knew that he would willingly spend the rest of his life in prison for killing some jack-ass if the only alternative was living free without Cloud.

The movie continued and Sephiroth sat very still so as not to disturb Cloud who had stuck his thumb in his mouth right after-“ _I don’t want realism. I want magic!”_ Sephiroth sat through the entire movie again so that Cloud got a decent nap before they had to walk home.

“Wake up sleepy head. Time to go home.” Sephiroth whispered as he tugged the thumb out of Cloud’s mouth. Cloud wiggled and woke up looking around, clearly disoriented.

“We’re at the theater, Blanche. You slept through the second viewing too. Let’s go.” Sephiroth said as he stood and stretched.

Cloud hissed, “Gotta pee.” But Sephiroth didn’t hear or see so he just followed Cloud out of the darkness into the dimly lit hallway. Cloud emerged from the restroom and tapped Sephiroth’s elbow then started toward the door. Sephiroth followed silently then walked by his side back to the home. Cloud was always looking out for him just like he was always looking out for Cloud. He was his ears and sometimes his eyes too. Sephiroth might never return his feelings so Cloud decided to be happy with what he had, a friend. He was a marvel, this big silver angel. Maybe once upon a time in another life, if only for a moment, Cloud thought, he was mine.

 

 

 

A/N the movie they quote during the robe/dress scene is Jezebel and of course the movie the see is A Streetcar Named Desire.


	4. Chapter 4

GENERAL CH 4

 

The next afternoon was Sunday and they went back to the bar to meet Reno. He was wearing street clothes this time but the hair was impossible to mistake. They met him in the alley instead of the bar this time to save a step. “Everything go ok yesterday guys?”

Sephiroth nodded, determined to try and be more civil to this asshole that Cloud had a thing for.

Reno nodded to them both and gave them a cell phone and a large envelope. “This is a burner, when you’re done with it, toss it but not at the drop spot yo. Here’s the address and the number to call. Let it ring three times and hang up. Nobody is waitin today, so hang out, grab a coffee or somethin and make sure this gets picked up by a man in a white suit. Any questions?”

The latter part of Reno’s statement was directed at Cloud. “No, I think we got it.” Cloud said and smiled at Reno and Reno winked at Cloud and said, “So sexy…”

Sephiroth smiled a bit and chewed the inside of his lip trying to ignore the two making silly eyes at one another. Reno looked up at Sephiroth and said, “Alright then, I guess this is it til next weekend yo. See you guys Saturday.”

Then he turned and walked away. They headed uptown and Sephiroth was silent as they walked. After a couple blocks Cloud tapped his elbow and he looked down.

“Piggy?” Cloud asked as he gave Sephiroth his biggest puppy eyes. Sephiroth smiled and took the envelope between his teeth. Cloud squeaked and hopped up behind him and they continued their trek. Sephiroth’s hair had gotten really long and Cloud loved to play in it. As he walked Cloud braided. When he tired of that he laid his head on Sephiroth’s shoulder and said, “Thank you for that.”

“I always carry you Cloud, you don’t have to thank me.” Sephiroth said with a smirk because he knew that wasn’t why Cloud was thanking him.

“I meant for not getting mad at Reno today.” Cloud said and then kissed the side of Sephiroth’s hair. “You’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah…so what do you plan on doing about this Reno character? You gonna ask him out or just keep mooning over him on weekends?” Sephiroth asked as he hiked Cloud up.

“I was kinda hoping he would ask me…but I guess I could ask. Maybe next weekend.” Cloud absently played with a braid as he thought about how he would ask.

“Maybe, my ass. You’ll ask or I’ll ask for you.” Sephiroth chuckled.

“Noooo!” Cloud wailed and Sephiroth laughed.

 

They reached their destination, placed the envelope and made the call. There was a coffee shop right across the street so they sat at one of the outside tables and had coffee and donuts. “You know Seph, I didn’t even ask how we’re getting paid for this one.” Cloud realized.

“Maybe Mr. White Suit will leave something for us.”

Cloud nodded as he slurped the jelly filling out of his third donut. Sllluuuurp, smack, smack then sip, smack, smack, ahhh. Sephiroth stared and wondered how in the name of God he could manage to hear all Cloud’s obnoxious noises loud and clear when he couldn’t hear well enough to discern words from most people’s voices. Suddenly a flash of white caught Cloud’s eye. He nudged Sephiroth and looked in the direction of the man in white. Sephiroth nodded to Cloud and said, “Looks like he’s leaving something.”

Cloud nodded and they finished their donuts and coffee, still watching to make sure nobody picked up their envelope. As they stood to leave Sephiroth caught a glimpse of his reflection in the coffee shop window then turned to scowl at Cloud. “What possessed you to do that to my hair?”

Cloud looked up and giggled, “I think it’s cute.”

Sephiroth grunted and said, “Clearly our ideas of cute are very different.” Cloud laughed and they took their envelope and went home.

 

When they got there, there was a note for Cloud. He picked it up off his bed and read it then looked at Sephiroth. “It’s from Reno…he wants me to go out with him next Friday night.”

Sephiroth nodded and said “That’s what you were hoping for right?”

Cloud looked at the note then back at his friend. “Yeah, I mean…yes but…”

“Women can be so fickle…Cloud do you like him or don’t you?” Sephiroth grumbled.

“I do. I just realized that I can’t take you with me.” Cloud smiled.

Sephiroth laughed and said, “Well I can’t hold your hand forever. You said you wanted to get laid and I personally don’t want to have to witness that.”

“Why not?!” Cloud squawked laughing. “Don’t you wanna see my sexy body??!!”

Sephiroth laughed and opened his mouth but then snapped it shut. All humor left his face as he stared at Cloud.

“What’s wrong Seph?” Cloud asked.

“Nothing. I’m going to shower…I’m tired.” Sephiroth said as he went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

 

The week seemed to drag by for Cloud who was a basket case about his date by the time Friday rolled around. Sephiroth had made plans to hang out with Edge that night so he wouldn’t sit at the home and worry. At least he would have Edge to keep him company while he worried. Friday night came and since Cloud was meeting Reno at the bar where Edge worked, the two walked together. Upon entering Sephiroth went to the bar leaving Cloud to walk to Reno’s table alone. A few minutes later he watched as they passed by and exited.

Edge slid him a drink and smiled, “It’ll be ok Seph. Reno’s a good guy.” Sephiroth growled making Edge laugh and then say, “I’m off in a few and we’ll get out of here.”

Sephiroth nodded and drained the glass in two gulps. A half-hour later they left the bar and headed down the street to Edge’s apartment. When they got there Sephiroth thought if he and Cloud would be able to afford a decent place like this one. Then he thought what if Cloud wants to live with Reno? He didn’t want to entertain the thought and when they were inside he made a conscious effort to drink it off his mind. The two ended up drunk and talking about life. When morning came and Sephiroth realized he had spent the night he sat up too quickly and fell back over. He dozed for a few minutes more then tried again…much better.

Back at the dorm he walked in to find Cloud still sleeping. He showered quickly and did something he hadn’t done in almost a year. He snuggled in bed beside cloud and fell back to sleep. He awoke to having his hair pulled. “Stop it Cloud…pulling my hair.”

He heard a feminine giggle and his eyes flew wide open. There stood Rydia by Cloud’s bed looking down at him. “Hey you. Happy belated birthday.”

She crawled on top of him and he asked, “Where’s Cloud?”

“He’s in the shower, come on let me give you your birthday present.” Rydia started pulling the covers down and he was holding them up.

“No…I don’t want that.”

“Why not? Are you fu…seeing someone?” She asked sounding a little bitter.

“No…but you dumped me and left so this is over.” Sephiroth said as he secured his grip on the covers.

“You know you want it Seph. You probably haven’t been with anyone since I left, have you?” Rydia was busy wiggling her hands under the covers to get a feel. He let her touch him and enjoyed the surprised look on her face.

“It’s none of your business who I sleep with Rydia. It stopped being your business when you broke up with me.” She continued to fondle him under the blanket. “You said you wanted to leave this all behind…so it’s not that I have someone else- I don’t.” He covered her hand with his own and squeezed. “But just because I’m single, doesn’t mean you can have this. You didn’t want it…remember?”

She hopped off the bed in a huff and stormed out. Cloud came out the bathroom and tackled Sephiroth on the bed. “Wooooo! You got her told!”

Sephiroth laughed and squirmed, “Move before you accidentally cop a feel.”

“Oh it won’t be an accident!” Cloud cackled.

“Pervert. Did you finally get laid last night?” Sephiroth asked hoping the answer was no.

“Yes! And it was glorious!” Cloud yelled. Sephiroth laughed at him as he felt that same burning in his gut.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Sephiroth said without a grain of honesty.

“He went ahead and gave me the stuff to deliver today with the instructions and junk. That way we don’t have to make another trip downtown until tomorrow. What did you and Edge get into last night?” Cloud rolled off the bed and began to dress in the center of the room.

Sephiroth noticed small bruises on his hips and his eyes narrowed. He growled and sat up reaching out and pulling Cloud over stumbling to him holding his boxers. “What’s this? Did he hurt you?” Sephiroth barked as he held Cloud by the hips and inspected the bruises before looking up at his face.

“No…he didn’t hurt me. I didn’t even realize I had those.” Cloud said as he awkwardly tried to hide his bits while Sephiroth turned him this way and that to better see the purple finger prints left on his skin. “Stoppit Seph.”

He looked up and dropped his hands, then turned his head away mumbling, “Sorry…”

 

The money was piling up for the two friends but the more Cloud saw Reno, the less time they spent together. Sephiroth took a job after school at a coffee bar so he wasn’t around to see the comings and goings of the other. Cloud could use the dorm if he wanted and Sephiroth stayed away as much as possible. He asked the nurse to make him an appointment for new ear molds for his aids and got it all done without Cloud even realizing. He missed him terribly but he wasn’t going to interfere with his friend’s happiness.

One afternoon, Sephiroth waited on a man whose name sounded very familiar. Seifer Almasy. “What can I get for you this evening?" Sephiroth asked politely even though he could feel the man’s eyes on him.

“I’d like your company for a few minutes if it’s no bother.” Seifer said.

Sephiroth looked at the clock and excused himself to take off his short apron then returned to sit down with the leering blonde. “My shift’s up. What can I help you with?”

“I have a proposition for you. A job opportunity. I’ve seen you working here for a while now and I really think you could be a lot more successful in another line of work…even at your young age.” Seifer said as he reached over and took a sip of Sephiroth’s latte.

“What type of work would that be?” Sephiroth asked curiously. In all honesty the coffee bar was mind numbing work and the only reason he took it was to get out of Cloud’s way.

“Well there are different things you could do, but I think you would be best suited for my newest venture. It’s a magazine that I recently purchased and I need handsome young men to pose for photos.” Seifer took a magazine out of his briefcase and passed it over to Sephiroth. He flipped through it and it looked like a fashion magazine pretty much; some racy photos of men and women wearing this brand or that brand of jeans, underwear, jewelry and such.

Sephiroth looked up at Seifer’s face to try and figure out if he was serious or not, then asked “You wanna take photos of me?”

“Yes, you seem surprised.” Seifer said with a smile.

“I am, to be honest.” Sephiroth said feeling a little flattered.

“You have very striking features.” Seifer said “And I need someone eye-catching since I’ve taken over the magazine; someone who will convince people to continue to buy it as well as draw in new customers.”

Sephiroth studied the man’s face and then said, “Before we go any further with this offer, you should know what you’re getting into.” He pulled his hair back from his face and turned his head to the side showing Seifer one of his aids. “I’m hard of hearing and…” he leaned across the table closer to Seifer’s face so that he could clearly see the damaged pupil in his right eye. “I’m pretty much blind in this eye. I have a rib that healed badly that’s quite obvious, and my left forearm has a kind of lump because it was broken but never set. If I’m still usable, then I’m your guy.”

Seifer smiled and said, “I think you’re usable.” They both chuckled and he gave Sephiroth his card and wrote a date and time on the back. “I look forward to seeing you then, Sephiroth.”

“Thank you Mr. Almasy.” Sephiroth said as he left.

 

Back at the home, Sephiroth was shocked to find Reno on his way out as he was going inside. “Whassup Seph.” He said as they passed.

“Hey Reno, you bailing on blondie early tonight?” Sephiroth said, stopping short of the door.

“Um…yeah. Cloudy said he wanted to spend some time with ya and I respect that…and he has your schedule.” Reno said as he looked into Sephiroth’s eyes. Sephiroth nodded and was about to walk away when Reno grabbed his arm and tugged. “You know what? This is a good thing…catchin you out here yo. Let’s chat.” Reno motioned for Sephiroth to follow down the stairs to the entryway of the home. “This is far enough. I just don’t want him to hear yo.”

Sephiroth looked puzzled and impatient. “Is something wrong with Cloud?”

“No. Is there somethin wrong with me and Cloud, yes. We spend entirely too much of our time together talkin about you. He has this weird…I donno what to call it…fixation on you and frankly, it’s starting to piss me off.” Reno said as Sephiroth watched him fish out a cigarette from his blazer.

“So how is that my problem?” Sephiroth asked hoping that Reno would push him, or take a swing, or breathe too hard in his direction but he didn’t. He did something worse.

“It’s not your problem yo, it’s mine. That’s why I asked Cloudy to move in with me when he turns 17.” Reno lit his cigarette and propped the door open with his foot.

Sephiroth’s stomach felt like it tightened into a ball and then compressed itself into stone. He saw his plans going to hell. What would his future be like without Cloud? He would be alone. The thought made him shiver and feel nauseous. He noticed Reno was staring at him and turned his head away asking, “Are we done here?”

When he looked back the door was closing and Reno was gone. He dragged up the stairs toward his room and dreaded hearing it again from Cloud. He couldn’t take Cloud putting it off or beating around the bush so he would just ask him outright. Entering the room, he found Cloud asleep on his bed. Cloud’s bed was a mess and he looked freshly showered and sound asleep, thumb in his mouth, hugging Sephiroth’s pillow. Sephiroth watched him for a few minutes then dropped his things, stripped to his boxers then crawled in bed with him, spooning up to his back. Almost as an afterthought, he reached up and took his hearing aids off and put them on the bedside table before falling asleep.

Sephiroth woke up with Cloud wrapped around him, halfway on top of him, sucking his thumb with his face lying in a small puddle of drool on his chest. It was still dark out so he made no move to wake him. Pressing his hair and watching it spring back up Sephiroth thought of what Reno had said. He wondered what Cloud had said on the matter then he figured that if he wanted to spend some time with him then he must have said yes. He pushed the thought away and closed his eyes.

As he began to doze back off he felt the puddle of drool overflow and start to run down toward his armpit. He smiled as he drifted off. Sephiroth dreamed of a far-away place where the animals were all too big and Cloud was standing at the edge of a forest wearing black leather and holding …something like an oversized cricket bat. Then his dream changed to just the cricket bat sticking in the ground on a cliff. He felt overwhelming sadness and began to cry in his sleep but he couldn’t wake up.

Cloud woke up because Sephiroth was crying. He slurped the drool loudly that was hanging from his face as he sat up grabbing the sheet to wipe the rest away and dry his thumb. “Wake up Seph. You’re having a nightmare.”

Sephiroth opened his bloodshot eyes but this time the sadness remained. He covered his face with his hands and tried to settle himself. Cloud petted his hair and lay back down to speak into his ear. “It’s ok Seph. It was just a bad dream. It’s over now.”

Sephiroth moaned quietly at the misery he felt. Usually when he woke from his nightmares he stopped crying immediately and remembered very little about them if anything. This time the aching feeling of utter loneliness and regret kept washing over him in waves. He sobbed and rolled to his side facing Cloud who wrapped his arms around him and did his best to give comfort. “Was it bad, Seph? You wanna talk about it?”

Cloud felt long arms wrap him up as Sephiroth pulled him close and tucked his head under his chin but continued to cry. Cloud lay quietly petting his friend’s long hair that fell down his back until he cried himself back to sleep. There was a tear tickling Cloud’s own nose that wouldn’t drip off so he wiggled it until the tear fell. He always cried a little when Sephiroth cried. To Cloud, it was the saddest sound in the world. He felt him still sniffling occasionally but he hadn’t yet begun to snore.

“Seph…” Cloud said loud enough for him to hear without his aids. Sephiroth moved and grunted then reached to pull the blanket up to Cloud’s ears. Cloud was helpless and trapped so he accepted his fate and repeated, “Seph…”

“Hmm?” Sephiroth said sleepily.

“Are you ok now?” Cloud asked as best he could being slightly muffled by the blanket.

“Yes…I had a terrible nightmare.” Sephiroth mumbled. “There were giant animals…and you were the biker from the Village People…and you had a giant cricket bat. It was awful.”


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as Cloud was lucid Sephiroth blurted, “Are you going to live with Reno?”

Cloud was shocked and could only mumble, “I told him I’d think about it. I know that wasn’t our plan.”

“Well, if you love him then you should be with him…if that’s what makes you happy Cloud.” Sephiroth rubbed his forehead as a pain shot through his temple. 

Cloud sighed and crawled out of Sephiroth’s bed and started to dress. “That’s the thing Seph…I don’t know if I love him or if I just love being with him. Does that make sense?”

Sephiroth nodded and watched the blonde dress. “Yes it does.”

Cloud sat down beside Sephiroth and took his hands. “Seph, you’re already 17…you have enough money to leave if you want. Why are you still here?”

Sephiroth looked shocked that the answer wasn’t obvious and said softly, “Because you are still here.”

Cloud released his hands and pulled him close in a hug. “Why can’t you just love me…it would be so perfect Seph.”

“It would ruin everything. I would screw up. You would end up hating me and I would be alone anyway…plus I prefer shrimp to sausage.” Sephiroth said and he heard Cloud giggle.

“Have you ever had anything besides shrimp?” Cloud snorted.

“No, but I just don’t understand the appeal. I mean…maybe I just don’t get the dynamics of it.” Sephiroth pondered as Cloud snickered with his face against his chest. Cloud loved to feel the rumble of Sephiroth’s voice when he talked; that was one of his favorite things about the piggyback rides. His most favorite thing of all was sleeping beside him.

“I think you’re in denial, Seph. I think you ‘don’t understand the dynamics of it’ because you avoid thinking about it.” Cloud said as he raised his head and looked into Sephiroth’s eyes.

“Of course I avoid thinking about it. I believe that most straight guys avoid thinking about it.” He laughed.

Cloud flapped his arms, “I wanna give you a gay test!”

“That’s ridiculous Cloud.” Sephiroth snorted. “I’ll tell you up front that if you touch my dick, it will get hard…it doesn’t know any better. And I’ve kissed you before remember?”

“How could I forget?!” Cloud started to fan himself and Sephiroth roared.

He pushed Cloud over on the bed where he curled into a ball laughing. Once he settled, Sephiroth said, “If you want to live with Reno, I will understand…but I won’t stay in this place a minute longer than you do. I feel like Snow and Hope will be good to watch over the smaller ones and my only reason for being here” Sephiroth poked at Cloud’s chest “is you.”

Cloud lowered his eyes and whispered, “I wanna stick to our plan…but I don’t wanna lose Reno.”

“Take your time Cloud. You have about six weeks before your birthday. Reno will understand if you need time to think…and if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t care as much for you as … as he should.” Sephiroth stated flatly then checked his watch. “I need to go. I have an appointment with a guy about another job.”

Cloud sprung up and grabbed Sephiroth by the shirt stopping his progress toward the door. “What guy? What job?”

“A man at the coffee bar offered me a gig with his magazine…wants to take photos of me. He kinda seemed a little creepy but I’m capable of taking care of myself.” Sephiroth chuckled and patted cloud’s hair.

“No you’re not! I have to watch out for you. Take me with you.” Cloud insisted refusing to release is grip on the shirt. Sephiroth laughed and opened his mouth to scold Cloud for treating him like a child when there was a knock on their door. He looked at Cloud sadly and said nothing. Cloud looked at the closed door knowing that it would be Reno and then looked back up at Sephiroth and kissed his cheek. “Be careful.”

“I will. Now let your boyfriend in and I’ll see you later ok?” He said as he surprised them both by placing a soft kiss on Cloud’s cheek before turning to get his bag. Reno walked in and spoke to Sephiroth as he passed him in the doorway. Sephiroth only growled and went about his business.

 

The place where he was to meet Seifer was in the warehouse district. The only thing appealing about this area to Sephiroth was the vast number of cats. He assumed they thrived off the rat population there and whenever he was in the neighborhood he stopped to pet a few dozen of them. Hitting the buzzer on the old building he bent to pet two cats as he waited to be let in. The old metal door screeched as it slid open and Seifer himself was there to usher him inside and shoo the cats back out that were trying to follow. The outside of the old building gave no hint as to what was inside. Once they walked through what appeared to be an entryway blocked off by rolling screens the building opened up into a completely finished studio. Sephiroth took it all in as he followed Seifer to an iron spiral staircase that led to a catwalk where a row of offices had been built. 

Once they were seated inside the plush office space Seifer began. “I’m glad you came today Sephiroth, would you like a drink?”

“Sure.” Sephiroth sat his bag on the floor and settled back into the cushy chair, crossing his long legs. At 6’3” and still a year to grow, long silver hair that reached his waist, and striking green eyes to compliment his smooth, fair complexion; Sephiroth had no idea how the rest of the world saw him. He had formed an opinion of himself early on in life and hadn’t wavered from it. He felt like he was a monster incapable of being loved, no matter what people said about his outward appearance. He was what he was and had never deserved a real family. The only thing he ever felt was his, the thing he treasured most was Cloud…and now Cloud was leaving him as well. That just proved to him that he didn’t deserve Cloud to begin with. Cloud had felt sorry for him when he showed up at the home; that was all that was he thought. He pitied the deaf, half-blind kid who didn’t know how to talk to people. Sephiroth felt sad inside as he took the drink offered and sipped it.

“Would you like to get started right away?” Seifer asked as he sat on the corner of his desk facing Sephiroth.

“Yeah, today is fine. I don’t have anywhere to be…” Sephiroth said as he downed the rest of his drink in one gulp.

“Let’s go down then and I’ll show you around.” Seifer said as Sephiroth stood and rubbed his temple. They went back down the stairs and walked through the huge area where photographers were starting to set up. The more they walked the more relaxed Sephiroth became. As they came back around to where the cameras were he was feeling pretty light headed. Seifer told him to have a seat on the antique looking sofa that was sitting amid the cameras and other furniture. 

One of the photographers walked over to him and smiled. “Hi, I’ll be helping you today…I would tell you my name but you won’t remember it.”  
Sephiroth cocked his head to the side and started to speak when he realized that his limbs felt like lead. As he began to panic his heart pounded and then everything went dark. 

 

Cloud lazed on Reno’s bed in his small apartment. “Do you understand really?”

“Sure, I get it. Ya need time to think yo. Just don’t leave me hangin is all I ask. If you decide you wanna stay with Seph…to look after him or whatever, just tell me. Don’t be afraid to tell me the truth Cloud. The truth I can handle…its lies I can’t stand.” Reno said as he lay down with Cloud.

Cloud kissed the corner of his mouth and started to get up. Reno pulled him back down and rolled him over pinning his wrists to the bed. “Where ya off to already?”

“I wanna be home when Seph gets back from his new job interview. He didn’t seem like he was very interested but it sounded exciting to me.” Cloud said as Reno kissed his neck.

“What kinda job?” Reno murmured before he bit Cloud’s ear then nuzzled his face.

“Eeep! He said it was a magazine…some man approached him at the coffee bar.” Cloud said trying to free his hands as he writhed against Reno.

“Did this man have a name?” Reno asked allowing Cloud to have use of his hands.

“He didn’t say…why? Do you know a man who owns a magazine?” 

“I know a man who claims to own a magazine. He uses it as pretense to recruit whores and make porn. Most of the ones who stay with him are junkies yo, so that would rule out your boy.” Reno said then he abruptly stood and fished around the blankets for his phone.

“What are you doing?” Cloud pouted.

“I’m checkin up on Seph yo. He may hate me but he matters to you, so…” Turning away from him Reno began to speak to someone on the phone. 

“Hey yo I heard Seifer got some…”  
“Really wow…so how long ago?”  
“Yeah, nobody I know…think I would remember that yo.”  
“Yeah…with him…”  
“She can wait yo.”  
“See ya.”

Cloud was standing behind him waiting when he hung up. “What did you find out? Is he hurt? Has he been violated? Oh my God!” Cloud screeched as Reno grabbed him and hugged him. 

“Ssshhh. Here’s what we’re gonna do Cloud. We’re goin over there to get him. I know where he is. Thing is, he’s been roofied and he’s still out so I’m gonna need help getting that big bastard outta there. We can pick up my buddy Rude. His place is on the way.” Cloud sighed but then he started to pace as Reno loaded his gun. “Don’t worry blondie. I got this.”

Sephiroth had been dumped in an alley near the coffee bar where he worked. After picking up Rude the three went to retrieve him. Reno and Rude carried the dead weight to Reno’s car and inelegantly stuffed him in the back seat with Cloud who immediately began checking his body for marks and bruises. It was dark so he would have to do a more thorough job at home. Home he thought. Would anywhere ever feel like home without Sephiroth? 

“Take us to the home, please.” Cloud instructed.

Reno rolled his eyes and said, “He’s gonna be fine baby.”

“Don’t baby me. It’s my fault this happened. If it weren’t for me…nevermind.” Cloud snapped and then silenced himself thinking about the repercussions of what he almost said as well as the gun Reno had in his belt.  
When they arrived at the home, Rude carried Sephiroth up the stairs only dropping him once. He tossed him on Cloud’s bed, not knowing or caring which one was his and turned to Reno. “Yo owe me Red.”

“I’m good for it yo.” Reno said and then looked at Cloud. “I gotta go. If you need me you know where I am.” 

The two walked out and left the door ajar. Cloud huffed and went to shut it but poked his head out when he heard laughter. They were laughing and talking on their way down the stairs. Cloud hissed and slammed the door loudly.

 

Once again he began to check Sephiroth over for marks or bruises. He could already see pinch marks on his wrists that were red and purple. There were more on his neck. After removing his shirt he saw a few scratches but nothing serious. Cloud removed his shoes and started taking off his jeans when he noticed what looked like an envelope sticking out of them. Someone had stuffed an envelope down his pants? Must be his pay Cloud thought. He set it aside and finished undressing hid friend. 

There were marks on his thighs that Cloud couldn’t figure out, then in a wave of panic he jerked Sephiroth’s underwear down to inspect for damage. Nothing seemed amiss and Cloud wasn’t gonna touch. He glanced up at Sephiroth’s face to make sure his eyes were still closed, the allowed himself the tiniest touch then scolded himself for being a pervert. Rolling him over which took all the energy he had and when he did he smiled seeing that Sephiroth had apparently not been violated, or if he had it hadn’t been brutal. Then he noticed the shimmer of oil on his skin where it shouldn’t have been unless... Cloud stared at Sephiroth’s ass debating on whether or not he should look any closer. He decided not since he didn’t see any blood. He would hate himself tomorrow, Cloud thought.

Showering and crawling in beside him Cloud felt miserable. He thought of Reno and his friend laughing as they left like what had happened was no big deal. Maybe if it was Reno’s friend who got their ass reamed while he was semi-conscious it would have been different. He thought of all the nights Sephiroth slept beside him after nightmares and how he always understood Cloud, no matter how weird he was. He decided and picked up his phone to call Reno. He didn’t get an answer so he left a message. 

“This is Cloud. I decided to stay with Seph, so I won’t be moving in. He needs me…and I need him. This is goodbye Reno.”

Sephiroth slept through the night and into the next morning. When he woke up Cloud was sitting on the bed leaned against the headboard, book on his knees, working. 

“Cloud?” Sephiroth husked.

Cloud jumped at the sound after sitting in silence for over 12 hours. “Hey there sleepy head.” He petted Sephiroth’s hair. “How do you feel? Are you thirsty?”

Sephiroth nodded and then hissed. “What happened to me? Did I get sick or somethin?”

“You don’t remember anything?” Cloud asked handing over a bottle of water, the stopped suddenly as Sephiroth was trying to sit up. Sephiroth made an awful face and Cloud knew why. He rolled to his side and took the water from Cloud without speaking as he tried to remember. 

“I passed out at the job…” Sephiroth said then grew quiet again. He looked at the binding marks on his wrists, then up at Cloud. Dropping his head so that his hair fell across his face he began to cry quietly as he began to recall bits and pieces. Cloud held him and told him it would be ok even though he knew that his friend would need a long time to recover, if he ever did. 

 

Finally Cloud convinced Sephiroth to get up so he could shower then he remembered the envelope. “You had this when we found you.” Handing the envelope over Cloud went to start the shower. Sephiroth stood wrapped in a sheet and ripped it open. There were black and white photos of him in bondage and in various stages of intercourse with two other people, one male and one female. There was also a note: These are only copies. You have been compensated. If you want to continue in my employ come back tomorrow night and we’ll talk. No more surprises. SA. Behind the note was $5000. Sephiroth tossed it on the desk and went to shower.

Cloud was sitting on the counter swinging his feet. “Need any help?”

Sephiroth looked over at him and smiled weakly then nodded. Cloud hopped off the counter and helped Sephiroth get into the shower. Making sure he had the things he needed he turned to leave. “Cloud?” Sephiroth said quietly. Cloud turned to face him and waited. “Thank you.”

Cloud smiled and blushed. “You would’ve done the same for me.”

“Yes…I would have.” Sephiroth said with a smile.

“I copped a feel last night while you were out…sorry…that was wrong.” Cloud said slyly and not in the least bit sorry.

Sephiroth roared and slid the shower closed mumbling, “Pervert…” then almost as an afterthought he said, “Hey Cloud, there’s something for you on the desk. It’s all yours.”

 

He took his time in the shower and when he emerged Cloud was sitting on the side of his bed tapping his foot. “Took you long enough.” He said as he bolted for the bathroom. Slam! Then the door opened again as Cloud grabbed some of the photos off the desk and darted back into the bathroom. Slam!

Sephiroth laughed and said “Freak…”

 

Cloud’s birthday was celebrated at the home with the usual dinner and cake. Later in the rec room Cloud and Sephiroth gathered everyone around them and said goodbye. “Seph and I are leaving tomorrow and we wanted to let you guys all know that we expect you to keep taking care of each other like you always do. The wardens said we can come back and visit when we like so we’ll be checkin in… Seph.” Cloud sat down and let Sephiroth have the floor.

Whispers were heard that caught Cloud’s attention and made him smile. The younger kids had begun calling Sephiroth the General because of the way he carried himself and how even the older kids seemed to fall in line in his presence. “Snow, Hope…come up here please.” Sephiroth said and the two teens approached. Snow looked upset and Hope just looked miserable. 

“Don’t be sad. We’ll be around.” Sephiroth said to Hope as he gave him a hug. Snow perked up a little at that and Sephiroth continued. “Snow and Hope are gonna be looking out for all of you when we’re gone. They’re good guys and they’ll help you any way they can. Thanks for everything…”

One of the youngest kids there walked up to Sephiroth and cranked his head back so he could look right into his face. Sephiroth squatted down and said, “What’s up little dude? Do you wanna talk to me?”

The kid smiled and said, “Mr. General Sir…can you please come back and see us at Christmas?”

Sephiroth grinned. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“And Mr. General Sir…” the kid said and then looked back at his friends who were whispering say it! “…will you give me a piggyback ride like you do Cloud?”

Sephiroth laughed and scooped the kid up and stood him on the end table by the sofa, then turned around pulling his hair over his shoulder. “Hop on”   
One after another he carried all the kids on his back, running and hiking them up to make them laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

GENERAL 6

 

Once they were back in their room Sephiroth plopped down on Cloud’s bed and sighed. “Haven’t seen Reno around since that night…”

Cloud raised his eyebrows, “That’s because I dumped him.”

Sephiroth looked shocked but said nothing. “You refused to talk about the night you got roofied, so I just didn’t disclose anything about my situation either.” Cloud said with a snooty air.

“Can we talk now…about everything?” Sephiroth said as he picked at a thread on his jeans.

“Absolutely. What do you wanna know first?” Cloud sat beside him on the bed.

“How did you get me home?” Sephiroth looked a little embarrassed.

“Reno and his friend Rude took me to where you were. Reno knew the guy and on a hunch called to see what he had going on and he told Reno about you. Reno said we were going to get you because he knew you were important to me.” Sephiroth looked guilt-ridden wondering how a statement like that could’ve led to a break-up. Cloud continued as he started helping Sephiroth pick the threads. “They dropped you here and then left. I heard them laughing on their way out and it pissed me off…anyhow when I looked at you lying so helpless I realized that Reno or no Reno, you were the one that I couldn’t live without. So I called him and left him a voicemail ending it.”

Sephiroth stared at the blonde who was still picking the threads on his old jeans. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner…I would’ve gotten a nicer place…for the both of us.”

Cloud smiled slyly and said, “You did.”

“No I didn’t.” Sephiroth said. “I picked the small place downtown so I could leave more money for you.”

“I switched the numbers on the paperwork because I knew you wouldn’t go look at the place…cause you’re stubborn and pig-headed. So you actually paid the lady for the bigger place uptown closer to your job at the coffee bar.”

“But I paid her…I didn’t pay her enough for the other place.” Sephiroth said as Cloud grinned.

“You paid the balance. I had already paid her part of it so that you wouldn’t notice it was more.”

“You little sneak!” Sephiroth laughed. “Does that mean you are coming with me?”

“Yes…well…there is one thing I’d like to have for all my undying friendship.” Cloud said coyly and waggled an eyebrow. Before he could finish his waggle Sephiroth leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

Cloud smiled and said, “Wow…all that for getting you home that night and taking care of you after and…” Sephiroth kissed him again, a little longer and then kissed his nose. Cloud made a face like he was trying to decide if that was enough or not as Sephiroth watched. “I think…”

Before Cloud could finish Sephiroth turned to him and kissed him again, this time with passion that Cloud wasn’t expecting. He wrapped his fingers in Sephiroth’s long hair as he felt long fingers slide across his cheek and down to his neck. Cloud released one handful of hair to run a hand across Sephiroth’s broad chest and sigh into the kiss. Suddenly Sephiroth pulled Cloud over onto his lap and held him tightly as the kiss became hungry. Cloud tugged at Sephiroth’s hair and moaned.

Sephiroth could feel his heart trying to break his ribs and his mind was going just as fast. Why am I doing this? Why am I trying to ruin the only friendship I have? Wonder if he’d like…he does…he tastes so good. Wow…I like the hair thing he’s doing right now. No, don’t stop- I like the hair thing. Wandering hands is a no-no I think…I shouldn’t be enjoying this so much…grrrrr he’s too far away. He’s so good to me…I never want to be away from him. I’m not supposed to like this! Ahhhiiieeee he pulled my hair…don’t do that Cloud…staaaaaaaappitt. Snap.

Sephiroth couldn’t stop so he decided to proceed with grace. Cloud gasped as Sephiroth left his lips and began to kiss his neck. His hands wandered from his neck and shoulders to his hips, gripping and lifting him and pushing back. Cloud went with his gut and swung his leg over so that he was straddling Sephiroth’s lap. His gut must have been right because Sephiroth growled and crushed their bodies together, hands sliding around to cover his ass. Cloud squeaked as Sephiroth nipped at his throat. He had already discovered that Sephiroth liked it when he tugged his hair and he knew that his friend would be mortified after this was over because of his own reactions. Cloud tugged at the silver tresses hard enough to pull Sephiroth off his neck.

Sephiroth looked into his eyes and Cloud saw confusion, fear, as well as heat in those green eyes. Cloud kissed him hard before he had a chance to come to his senses then tugged the hair once more and began kissing a trail down the side of his neck. Sephiroth leaned his head to the side allowing him better access and Cloud smiled as he continued. He saw the chills rise on Sephiroth's arms as he reached his collarbone. Dragging his teeth across smooth skin he felt him shiver and those strong hands that had passively rested on his ass suddenly squeezed. Cloud hissed softly into Sephiroth’s ear running the tip of his tongue along the shell then sucking gently on the lobe. Sephiroth squeezed again but began to push him away gently. Cloud thought he heard a slight groan.

"Cloud..." Sephiroth said "I just wanted to give you a kiss to thank you and cause you like...it..."

Cloud pressed himself against Sephiroth once more then kissed his chin and his forehead, then held his face looking into his eyes. “You’re welcome!” He chirped and hopped off Sephiroth’s lap and casually started packing his meager belongings.

 

Their apartment uptown was huge compared to the small dorm they had lived in for years. Sephiroth had to work that afternoon so he left the unpacking to Cloud. As he put things away he thought about their life together. Since he stopped seeing Reno they hadn’t been back to deliver any more packages so he needed to find a job. Looking around the apartment, Cloud noted that the first thing the needed to buy was mattresses. The apartment was listed as partially furnished because some things had been thrown out after the murder. He didn’t bother telling Sephiroth that someone had been murdered in their apartment because he would just be weird about it. For tonight they would need to sleep on the sofa and the floor.

When Sephiroth arrived home he found that Cloud had been food shopping and there was a plate from the deli for his dinner. He smiled and scarfed down the food without even sitting down. Grabbing a bottle of water he sought out Cloud.

Cloud was singing in the shower while he shampooed his hair. Sephiroth opened the door quietly and looked around. Cloud had been busy stocking the apartment so they could relax. Sephiroth closed the toilet and sat down, crossing his long legs and propping an elbow on his knee. The shower curtain Cloud bought had a line of yellow ducks across it and there was a rubber duck to match sitting on the counter. Sephiroth snickered as the song was finished and said, “You gonna leave me some hot water?”

Cloud squawked and poked his head out of the shower grinning. “Look you pervert, just because I let you kiss me doesn’t mean you can turn into a total creeper.” He laughed then shut off the water.

Sephiroth chuckled and propped his chin on his hand. “Thanks for doing all the settling by yourself today. You did great…the apartment looks great…and thanks for my dinner.”

Cloud’s arm shot out and grabbed a towel. “I enjoyed it…I mean I would’ve liked doing it with you but I didn’t mind doing it while you were working. Speaking of, I need to find a job. I’ll start looking tomorrow.”

Sephiroth stood and crept over to the shower curtain when he was satisfied that Cloud wasn’t paying him any attention. Cloud pulled the curtain halfway open and stood with a towel around his waist staring at the empty toilet where Sephiroth had been sitting. “You haven’t been listening to me at all!” Cloud yelled and stepped out of the tub.

He huffed when he got no reply and started brushing his teeth in front of the mirror that hung over the sink. He bent down to rinse and spit and when he stood up Sephiroth was standing right behind him. Cloud froze in panic and then he fainted. Sephiroth caught him and was laughing so hard he nearly had to drag him to the sofa then sat on the floor trying to wake Cloud without laughing. When he opened his eyes and focused the first thing he did was hit Sephiroth on the shoulder. “Fuck you Seph, you scared the shit out of me.”

Sephiroth laughed again but he was glad to see Cloud awake and trying to retaliate. “I didn’t mean to scare you that badly.”

“Well you did…but I could be persuaded to forgive you.” Cloud said as he played with the edge of the towel. Sephiroth turned and took a long look at the nearly naked Cloud reclining on the sofa. Cloud noticed some odd emotion flash across Sephiroth’s face as he stared unashamedly at his body. Cloud smirked and pulled the edge of the towel higher, showing a little thigh. Sephiroth’s eyes flicked from his thigh to his face and his brows knitted. Cloud giggled and pulled the towel higher and Sephiroth grunted and got up from his spot on the floor. “Stop that. I’m not gonna watch you strip.”

Cloud watched Sephiroth’s back (ass) as he walked toward the kitchen. I’m wearin him down, he thought, wearin him down. He trotted off to the bedroom to get dressed and had a thought. He had been thinking of getting mattresses for the double bed frame that was left in the apartment but what if Seph wanted his own bed. Maybe they should talk about that before he bought anything. Padding through in his pajama pants Cloud noticed that Sephiroth had put a sheet over the sofa and tossed their pillows on either end. Cloud sighed thinking how badly he did NOT want to sleep with Seph’s feet in his face. He heard the shower running so he lay down to wait…and fell asleep.

 

He woke up with a jerk when he felt the earth move. Sephiroth had his hands under his armpits hauling him up to the opposite end of the sofa from where he had fallen asleep. “Whyyyyyy” He groaned, thumb falling from his mouth and stringing drool everywhere.

“Because I have nowhere to put my long ass legs and I don’t wanna sleep on the floor.” Sephiroth whispered as he settled Cloud on top of him. Cloud raised his head and gave Sephiroth a huge grin with his eyes still closed. Sephiroth pushed his head down against his chest and grumbled. “Go back to sleep…and don’t be feeling me up in the night.”

Cloud giggled at the rumble of the words and dozed back off. Sephiroth lay awake for a long time feeling the drool dribble down onto his chest. He thought maybe he would pick up some puppy pads to use until they got a bed…or beds. He loved the thought of sleeping with Cloud every night but in a purely platonic sense. Cloud was a huge comfort to him and always had been but…Cloud should have his own bed. He would be dating again after all and…Sephiroth grunted at the thought of having to share Cloud’s attention again. Something occurred to him at that moment. He hadn’t even thought of dating since Rydia had left him and that had been…wow. Was something wrong with him, he wondered. Women had flirted with him at his work but he never bothered to ask them out. Where had his head been? Just then Cloud slurped his thumb and shifted his weight. He pressed down on Sephiroth’s chest/pillow with his free hand then pulled both his knees up on either side of his hips. Sephiroth smiled and patted the spikey hair that was only inches away from his face. Tucking his right hand behind his head, Sephiroth bean to doze.

 

Morning came and Sephiroth woke to a face full of hair and drool running down his neck. Ugh, he thought puppy pads are a must. He reached down and tugged Cloud’s thumb out of his mouth to wake him. “Whyyyy” Cloud whined again and Sephiroth chuckled.

Cloud sat up rubbing his eyes and looking around the apartment getting himself oriented. Sephiroth watched him with amusement and waited for him to speak. Cloud scratched his head and yawned then stretched and scratched his ass all while sitting on top of his friend. Opening his blue eyes Cloud looked down at Sephiroth and smiled. “What time do you work today?”

“I go in at noon and work til 9. You need to make sure you have what you need for school tomorrow.” Sephiroth said as he rested his hands on Cloud’s thighs.

“So Seph, I meant to ask you last night…do you want 1 bed or 2? I mean I love sleepin with you but I thought maybe you would want your own.” Cloud said as he began to wiggle.

Sephiroth grunted and ordered him to stop wiggling then added, “Why don’t we get two beds and still sleep together when we want?”

“Good idea.” Cloud nodded.

“Do me a favor a pick up some puppy pads while you’re out today.” Sephiroth smirked.

“We’re getting a puppy?!” Cloud shrieked.

“No they’re for you.” Sephiroth levelled a gaze at Cloud as he used the sheet to dry his neck. Cloud stuck out his tongue at Sephiroth then popped his thumb into his mouth as he sat astride his soggy friend. Sephiroth’s gaze flitted over Cloud’s muscular build, smooth skin, tousled hair, and thumb in his wet pouty mouth with a finger hooked over his tiny nose.

“Up.” Sephiroth said grabbing Cloud by the waist and setting him aside and abandoning the couch/bed for the bathroom. Cloud wandered into the kitchen to make breakfast smiling around his thumb.

 

After work that night there was a bed on either side of their bedroom and a plate of dinner in the fridge. Cloud’s book bag sat on the table reminding Sephiroth that he would be without him the next morning. Sephiroth had taken extra classes while they were at the home so he could earn his diploma a year early. He didn’t care about the ceremony and all that he just wanted to be done so he could move on. Cloud was doing well in school but not well enough to take any extra classes.

He showered and crawled into bed with Cloud. There were no puppy pads so he would just have to deal. The weeks flew by for the friends and Cloud got a job after school and weekends at a gym near their apartment. He had made a new friend named Leon who Sephiroth wanted to kill and eat most days. He wasn’t a flirt like Reno had been but he was clingy. Sephiroth cringed every time Leon touched Cloud. He tried to scold himself into submission and accept that Cloud deserved to have a life outside their friendship. After the holidays and seeing the two sing Christmas carols while wearing matching sweaters, Sephiroth decided it was time he got out and met someone himself…before he killed them both.

It didn’t take him long to meet someone…it was more of a re-acquaintance. Aerith had gone to college and was a nurse. She had come into the coffee bar and screamed when she saw Sephiroth, scaring the shit out of half the customers. They watched as he picked her up in a bear hug and swung her around and they all applauded. Everyone at his work adored him. Everyone thought he was gay as well but he had no idea.

He chatted with her while she sipped her coffee. “I was working at the hospital, but I just started a new job at a doctor’s office nearby, so I’ll be a regular. Is Cloud still at the home?” She asked remembering how close the two were.

“No, we saved our money and when he turned seventeen we both moved out together. We have a little apartment not far from here and he works down at The Body Shop after school. I graduated early. Pfft. I hated school.” Seph said as he stared at the girl who had grown into a beautiful young woman.

“Oh…so are you guys like together, together?” She asked, blushing a little.

Sephiroth laughed, “No. He’s seeing a guy named Leon who drives me absolutely insane with his clinginess and his baby talk. I haven’t dated in…a while.”

“I see. It’s so cool that you guys stuck together like that. I haven’t dated in a while either. Guys can be such creeps it’s hard to trust anyone.” She said as she stirred her coffee.

“Would you like to get dinner sometime?” Sephiroth asked realizing how comfortable he felt and how confident he had become over the years.

“I’d like that.” She smiled.

Arriving home Sephiroth couldn’t wait to tell Cloud that he had seen Aerith and they were going out on a date. He walked in and found the apartment dark and relatively quiet. In the kitchen was his dinner from a fast food place and a note from Cloud.

_Don’t be mad, I let Leon spend the night.  Cloud XXX_

Sephiroth dropped the note and grabbed a pen, happy that he had something to tell.

_Don’t be mad. I have a date with Aerith tomorrow night.  Seph OOO_

Laying the note by Cloud’s book bag he showered and slept on the couch so they could have their privacy.


	7. Chapter 7

GENERAL CH 7

 

Cloud snatched up the note and his book bag and trotted off to school, Leon at his side. Leon was 20 but he thought it would be cute and fun to walk his boyfriend to school. Cloud read the note and stopped dead in the center of a crosswalk. Leon pulled him along asking, “What’s wrong, what’s it say?”

“Seph has a date…with someone we knew from the home. It’s no big deal…just some girl,” Cloud said as he balled up the paper into a tight wad and stuffed it in his bag. Leon kissed him goodbye in front of the school and left for home. Cloud bolted around the corner, took out his lighter and torched the note. He felt a little better…not a lot, but a little.

He didn’t see Sephiroth at all that day and Leon didn’t come over. When he came home from work at the gym, he scrawled a note for Sephiroth, showered and went to bed.

_Had a shitty day…sleep with me??_ _Cloud_

Sephiroth took Aerith to dinner and a movie (not the dollar ones). They caught up on the friends that they shared and still kept in touch with and chatted about everyday things that they had to adapt to after living in a group home for so long. She held his hand while they walked and talked on the way back to her car. “Seventeeeen” Aerith said and then laughed. “I’m 21…is this legal?”

Sephiroth grinned and tugged on her hand. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Aerith stopped and turned to face him. “Even if I do this…” and she put her hands on his shoulders pulling him down for a kiss. Sephiroth wrapped her in his strong arms and kissed her back. After the kisses and jokes about how freakishly tall he was, she got into her car and left.

He walked the couple blocks to home and went in to find dark quiet and a note. He read it and left it where it lay. Showering he thought about the difference between kissing Cloud and kissing Aerith. They both had nice lips and skin. They were both good-looking…well; pretty…Cloud was also pretty. Aerith wasn’t shy about kissing him and Cloud was downright aggressive about it. Kissing Cloud seemed taboo to him…maybe that’s why it was the more exciting of the two. Well, he thought, it didn’t matter because Cloud had Leon and now he had Aerith.

Shutting off the water he toweled his hair dry and pulled on some boxers and crawled in bed with Cloud. Sssluuurpp pop. “Thanks…” Cloud mumbled sleepily as he snuggled close.

“Why was your day bad Cloud?” Sephiroth asked as he combed his fingers through the yellow spikes.

“Because Seph STILL doesn’t realize he’s gay.” Cloud mumbled before he stuck his thumb back into his mouth.

Sephiroth snickered realizing that Cloud was talking in his sleep. “What if he’s not gay?”

“He’s totally gay.” Cloud slurred around his thumb. “He wants me.”

Sephiroth buried his face in the pillow and laughed until he snorted. The jiggling bed made Cloud grumble getting Sephiroth’s attention.

“Oh hey Seph…when did you get home?” Cloud asked rubbing his eyes.

“I just got in…you were talking in your sleep and cracked me up.” Sephiroth watched his friend’s confused face spread into a smile.

“Yeah I’m stupid like that. How was your date with Aerith?” Cloud asked as he snuggled back down and laid his head on Sephiroth’s chest so he could hear the rumble.

“It was fun. She’s a nurse at an office near the coffee bar. She asked about you.” Sephiroth said.

“Really? Don’t care…did you kiss her?” Cloud waited.

“Yes, I did. What do you mean you don’t care? I thought you liked her back then.” Sephiroth said as he cuddled Cloud without even realizing what he was doing. Cloud ate it up.

“I like everyone until they wanna go out with you…or did your gullible ass never pick up on that?”

Sephiroth laughed. “So you’re gonna hate her because I’m dating her?”

“Yes” Cloud huffed.

“What about Leon?” Sephiroth asked.

“You hate Leon!” Cloud raised his voice.

“Yes I hate Leon but…not because you…” Sephiroth trailed off as he thought.

“HA!” Cloud jumped up to his knees on the bed and pointed.

“I would hate him even if you weren’t…whatever you’re doing with him.” Sephiroth said as he sat up in bed.

“Oh yeah? Well lemme tell you what I’m doing with him and we’ll see!” Cloud snapped folding his arms in front of his chest.

“Fine, tell me all of it! Just don’t get your feelings hurt when it doesn’t bother me!” Sephiroth spat and folded his own arms to mirror Cloud making the blonde giggle.

“Fine!” Cloud sat cross legged on the bed facing Sephiroth. “We go to dinner and the movies sometimes.” Cloud said. “And we kiss… a lot.”

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and made a bored face. Cloud smiled as if he had issued a challenge. “Sometimes…we just come here and hang out.” Cloud said suggestively as Sephiroth eyed how much more muscle he had added since he went to work at the gym. Cloud watched his eyes and casually ran his hand across his abs pretending he had an itch.

He noticed Sephiroth bite the inside of his lip before his eyes shot back to meet Cloud’s. “Is that it? That doesn’t bother me at all.”

Cloud dropped his head slightly and said, “Sometimes when he kisses me…I think about kissing you.” That got a reaction plus a guilty look and Sephiroth turned his head away. Cloud struggled to contain a smile as he asked, “Want me to stop?”

“I said I would listen. Say what you want.” Sephiroth said as he turned back to face Cloud.

Cloud scooted closer to him and said, “Sometimes when he touches me…I think about how much better it would feel if it was you…touching me and kissing me…and fu…”

“Ok stop!” Sephiroth said moving away from Cloud.

“Why should I stop? Because I was right?” Cloud laughed but Sephiroth wasn’t smiling anymore.

“I don’t like thinking about someone…fucking you. I don’t think that’s strange and I don’t think it means that I want to take their place.” Sephiroth said.

Cloud didn’t laugh anymore but he slid off the bed and stood there in his pajama pants for a moment with the faint moonlight reflecting and casting shadows on the contours of his musculature before he smirked and said, “Well, if you’re gonna think about it at all, you have it the wrong way around in your head. Leon doesn’t fuck me. I fuck Leon…and I think about you the whole time.” Cloud turned and crawled into the other bed and turned his back to Sephiroth.

 

The next morning Cloud woke to the smell of bacon. He thought briefly about their first fight the night before and how he acted like a jealous queen about Aerith. He was being selfish. He pulled on his jeans and a beater and walked into the kitchen to find Sephiroth putting bacon and eggs on two plates. Cloud poured himself a cup of coffee and turned around. He sipped his coffee then sat it down and took the pan from Sephiroth and sat it in the sink. “Seph, I’m sorry about last night. I was an asshole. I’m glad you had a good time with Aerith…and what I’m doing with Leon is wrong…so I’m not gonna see him anymore. Nobody deserves to be used like that.”

Sephiroth looked at him and just nodded and stared. He wanted to say a lot of things but he didn’t know where to start so he said nothing. He opened his arms and Cloud smiled and walked into them. Sephiroth kissed his hair and then they sat to eat before Cloud left for school.

Sephiroth continued to see Aerith and Cloud was reasonably ok with it. He was polite when he brought her over but tried to find an excuse to leave. They had visited the home often just like they had promised and found everything running smoothly. They took small gifts for everyone and stayed for dinner. Sephiroth’s 18th birthday came and went and soon Cloud was graduating. Sephiroth was the tallest, loudest person in the crowd and when Cloud went up to receive his diploma he made so much noise that all the people in his immediate area were laughing and shouting for Cloud too even though they had no idea who he was.

 

After the ceremony most of the graduates went to parties but Cloud went to dinner with Sephiroth and Aerith. It was nice and when Aerith went straight home afterwards leaving him with Sephiroth, he was shocked and pleased. Sephiroth took his hands and said. “Guess what’s playing at the dollar movies?”

Cloud grinned and swung their hands. “No idea.”

“Come on then it’ll be a surprise.” Sephiroth said as he tugged him along.

Sitting down with his favorite noisy gummy candy and an icee Cloud hissed. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen this one. Thank you Seph. This is fuckin awesome.”

Sephiroth smiled and settled back in his seat hanging his lanky legs over the back of the seat in front of him. Then almost as an afterthought he leaned over and kissed Cloud on the cheek. “I’m proud of you Cloud.”

Cloud was shocked that such a simple statement could evoke such emotion. He couldn’t recall ever hearing someone say that they were proud of him. He felt the tears coming and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop them so he started to turn his head away but Sephiroth caught his chin with one finger and kissed his lips lightly. Cloud blinked the tears out and they slid down his cheeks then Sephiroth kissed them away. Cloud was confused and happy and embarrassed all at once.

The movie started and Sephiroth smiled and sat back in his seat. Cloud was shocked at how well Sephiroth did Joan Crawford’s lines. Cloud of course did his flawless Bette Davis. After the movie they walked to the park and sat on the new swings. This park was much nicer than the one closer to the home. Sephiroth pushed with his boots and Cloud giggled as he watched him. “Are you ever gonna stop growing?”

“I think I have. My feet though, my God.” Sephiroth laughed at himself.

“I know right. What size are those?” Cloud asked about the black boots that Sephiroth had picked up at the military surplus store a few months before.

“15” Sephiroth laughed. “And the sad thing is the look perfectly proportionate to the rest of me.”

Cloud laughed, “That’s because you’re a monster!”

After having said that he jumped off his swing and stood in front of Sephiroth making him dig his big feet into the sand to stop before he plowed into the 5’8” blonde. They both laughed and Sephiroth said, “Well you just proved they’re good for something.”

Cloud smile and reached out to Sephiroth’s face touching his cheek and then his lips. “What are these good for?”

Sephiroth didn’t hesitate to pull him close and kiss him. Cloud was in heaven. He didn’t get this often and he was going to savor it. He felt Sephiroth’s hands leave his waist and figured it was over but then Sephiroth took his hand and led it to his hair. Cloud smiled into the kiss as he wound his fingers through silver tresses giving a slight tug. Sephiroth pulled at him, urging him down so Cloud released his hair long enough to grab the swing chains. He pulled himself up breaking the kiss and stuck his feet between the chains and Sephiroth’s body then released the chains knowing Sephiroth wouldn’t let him fall.

Sephiroth pulled him close and kissed him hard as he gripped his hips and Cloud’s legs wrapped around his back. Hands full of hair again Cloud wondered how far Sephiroth was going to let him get this time. He dreaded the frustrated walk home even though it wasn’t far... but he would take what he could get.

When he felt a hand snake up under his shirt he began to question whether or not someone had roofied Seph again…at the restaurant maybe…or maybe someone spiked his icee. He didn’t care. Sephiroth’s hand that wasn’t holding him on his lap was freely exploring Cloud’s body. He decided he wasn’t going to worry about where it was going anymore, he was just going to enjoy it. He pressed against Sephiroth and tightened his thighs around his torso then pulled at the hand that was holding him and pushed it under his shirt with the other.

Sephiroth groaned and made good use of having both hands. Cloud thought it felt more like eight hands than two but he wasn’t complaining. Cloud tugged his hair and assaulted his neck where he felt the quickening pulse and did a tiny victory dance in his head.

The longer they sat on the swing wrapped up in each other the more aggressive Sephiroth became. Cloud had a pretty good indication as to why but he wasn’t going to count his chickens. Sephiroth hissed into his ear, “God…how do you do that?”

“Do what?” Cloud whispered and kissed the corner of his mouth.

Sephiroth didn’t expand on what he had asked he only kissed him again. Cloud knew this was going to go one way or another so he decided to push it a little. If he was going to need bathroom time as soon as he got home, he meant to make it count. He tightened his thighs around Sephiroth but this time he arched his back slightly.

He felt Sephiroth go still and then there were hands on his ass grinding their bodies together. Cloud moaned at the passionate way Sephiroth groped and squeezed and kissed. Then it happened. Sephiroth ran one hand between them to tug at Cloud’s pants.

“You want?” Cloud panted. Sephiroth only nodded and Cloud noticed his hands were shaking. “Seph…”

He looked into Cloud’s eyes and said quietly, “If you tell me no after all these years…I will stab you in the chest with the biggest carving knife we own.”

Cloud giggled and said, “I’ll never tell you no…but I will ask politely that we go home first so we don’t catch a charge for fucking in public.”

Sephiroth looked around them at the darkened playground and smiled. “Unbelievable…”

Cloud grabbed the chains and pulled himself up and swung his legs out to stand. Sephiroth stood slowly and looked down at Cloud and put a hand on his face. Cloud looked up and smiled and said, “Come on…” He took his hand and tugged him in the direction of home, much like Sephiroth had tugged him in the direction of the theater.

 

They walked inside without turning on a light and went right to the bedroom. Cloud was unbuttoning his shirt when Sephiroth came over and smacked his hands away so that he could do it for him. He had already shed his own shirt so while he undid the buttons Cloud was free to touch him, and kiss that smooth skin. He looked up at Sephiroth’s face as he reached for the buttons on his jeans and paused. Sephiroth nodded as he released the final button and slid the oxford down Cloud’s shoulders and let out a long sigh as he traced his fingers over bare shoulders and strong biceps. Cloud shivered at the tenderness of the touch and popped the last button of his jeans.

Lifting Cloud's chin gently Sephiroth kissed him as he pushed his jeans down his hips. Cloud felt long fingers divesting him of his own pants and then pull the beater up as far as he could without breaking the kiss. The two nervous lovers stomped out of their pants as they made their way to the bed.

Cloud stopped and tugged off the undershirt and tossed it across the room before grabbing Sephiroth’s hips and pulling him close. Looking up at him once more for permission, Cloud waited for a nod before he tugged down the boxers that he himself had bought as a Christmas gift. Sephiroth stripped Cloud of his as well but paused before he touched him. Cloud leaned his entire body into him making Sephiroth wrap and arm around him.

As they stood naked against each other Cloud knew Sephiroth had to be mortified no matter how aroused he was. He put his arms around him and laid his head against his chest briefly to listen to the thudding of his heart then he pushed him gently against the edge of the bed. Sephiroth sat and immediately grabbed Cloud pulling him back onto his lap like he had been at the park earlier. Cloud chuckled as Sephiroth grew six more hands but this time it was much more satisfying.

Sephiroth growled and rolled him over on the bed, then stopped kissing him and looked worried. “What’s wrong Seph?” Cloud asked concerned but didn’t back off and inch from what he had both his hands full of.

Sephiroth looked between them at his own body and back at Cloud’s face. “What if I hurt you?”

“I won’t let you. I’m stronger than you think.” Cloud said as he gave Sephiroth a squeeze and watched his eyes flutter closed.

 

Cloud tried to help Sephiroth relax but he would have none of it until he knew that Cloud wasn’t in pain. When he was assured of that, Cloud had nothing more to do than enjoy being ravished. Sephiroth had apparently given this a bit of thought over the years whether he admitted it to himself or not Cloud thought as he wiggled to un-pin his wrists from the mattress that was now bare because the fitted sheet had come loose an hour ago and was a ball on one corner of the bed. He knew that he would never ever want to be with anyone else...how do you move past someone absolutely worshiping your body all the while whispering things into your ear that heal your soul. This began as wanting and ended in needing.

Sephiroth watched Cloud’s expressions and reveled in his moans. He wanted to show Cloud how he felt about him because he didn’t know how to say it. He was the center of his universe and he deserved to know it. He would happily give his life for him because without him he would have no desire to go on. He would never let him go...why had he waited so long?

When they were both satisfied they lay quietly in one another’s arms Cloud wondered if Sephiroth would hate him, or himself, or both of them and Sephiroth wondered if Cloud would hate him, or if Aerith would hate him, or maybe both of them.

Not willing to spend another second thinking about anything but how amazing his life with Cloud was he physically turned Cloud over and tucked his head under his chin, just like he always had in the past. Cloud smiled, kissed his chest and stuck his thumb in his mouth. The last thing he was aware of was the rumble of Sephiroth’s chuckle.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day brought a reality check with the sunrise. The doorbell woke them and Sephiroth immediately pulled Cloud’s thumb from his mouth and whispered, “Someone’s here…I don’t wanna get it…you get it.”

“K…” Cloud mumbled as he got up dragging the sheet off the bed to wrap himself in and leaving Sephiroth to feel around on the bed to find more cover without opening his eyes. Hearing aids on the bedside table Sephiroth curled up in the quiet and went back to sleep.

Cloud opened the door squinting and scratching his balls. Aerith looked at the wreck he was and giggled. That sound opened his eyes immediately. “Aerith…good morning.”

“Good morning Cloud. I thought I would bring you and Sephiroth breakfast…” he watched her eyes fall from his hair to his neck then his chest and stomach. She blushed as her eyes snapped back up to his face. “I had no idea that you were so…fit.”

Cloud pulled his sheet up to a respectable height as he realized it was hanging low enough that some fine blonde hairs were visible. “Um… come on in. Seph is still sleeping.”

She walked in and sat her purse down and wandered toward the bedroom. Cloud raised his hand to stop her but what could he say that wouldn’t sound like he was hiding something. He winced as she walked into the bedroom then stepped close to the door to listen.

“Seph, wake up baby. I brought you breakfast.”

(Incoherent mumbling)

“Sephiroth…what’s um…oh.”

Cloud couldn’t help himself; he looked inside the bedroom just in time to see Aerith turn and look at his undisturbed bed then back at sleeping Sephiroth. She looked at all their clothes except for the shirt he tossed, lying by the bed Seph was sleeping in…the bed that was missing a sheet…the bed that had a very obviously used bottle of lube sitting on the floor by it. He saw her hand go to her mouth and he darted away from the door. She rushed out of the bedroom and out of the apartment, leaving the door open as she hurried down the stairs.

Cloud closed the door and went to wake Sephiroth. “Wake up Seph.” Cloud tossed a pillow at him. Sephiroth rolled over growling and threw it back. Cloud giggled in spite of the grim news he had. 

“Wake up!” Cloud jumped on the bed and as though he was expecting it, Sephiroth’s long arm shot up and caught him, rolling him over and under him. Cloud was screeching like a banshee. Sephiroth kissed him and cuddled him like he was going back to sleep. “Nooo.” Cloud said, “Wake up Seph. Aerith was here.”

One bloodshot eye popped open and then slammed shut. “Please tell me you’re lyin.”

“No…I um…she…she barged in here where you were sleepin and saw the bed and the…I have the other sheet for my, to cover my…fuck. She figured it out and left. She looked pretty pissed.” Cloud said as he shut his eyes praying that Sephiroth wasn’t going to go and beg her forgiveness.

“UUUUggghhhhh!” Sephiroth moaned. “Well…I don’t have to tell her now. I really should have told her before.”

Cloud craned his head up, “What do you mean ‘should have told her before’? Did you plan last night?”

“Kinda…not exactly. It’s complicated Cloud.” Sephiroth said as he started to get out of bed.

“Uncomplicated it for me while we shower.” Cloud said smiling as he dropped his sheet and walked toward the bathroom.

“How are you this morning?” Sephiroth asked him, looking at the bruises he had left on him the night before. 

Cloud reached back and grabbed his ass cheeks and laughed “I’ve got a fucking hangover…literally!” Sephiroth laughed and they went to shower.

 

“So when did you decide you wanted my sexy self?” Cloud giggled as he shampooed his hair.

“When we were 14. I didn’t want to accept it because I was afraid I would lose you somehow. Thinking back it was probably because of the way I grew up. My parents were never very happy with me as far as I recall. I told them I loved them all the time…and they said it back but they never really did. Then they were gone and…they were the only people I had cared for up to that point…even though they mistreated me. I always thought it was my fault that I was beaten or had my food taken away. When I went to the home I didn’t know what to expect besides more of the same.” Sephiroth paused to put his arms around Cloud. “Then you.”

Cloud smiled against his chest. “What do you mean me? I was a runt and I wanted a friend more than anything in the world. I only had girls for friends because I was the smallest boy and nobody wanted to hang out with a little kid. You coming there was the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

Sephiroth smiled. “You don’t understand Cloud. I had never been loved by anyone and I didn’t even realize it until you came along. And the best part was you did it…but didn’t say the words so I didn’t have to say them back…and I didn’t worry so much about you going away. After 14 and the kiss, I just tried to keep you at a distance. I knew what I wanted then but I was afraid.”

“Is that why you would kiss me now and then?” Cloud asked.

“I kissed you now and then because there was only so long that I could go without being that close to you. I kissed you now and then because I had to.” Sephiroth said quietly. “By the time we were 16 I was so in love with you that I didn’t want to be away from you ever…but there was Reno. When I thought you were going to leave me Cloud…I had nothing else to live for. I was going to go to that tiny apartment and wait for you to come around. That’s all I knew to do. You were my life then. You are my life now.”

Cloud sniffled and Sephiroth petted him. “I didn’t mean to make you cry…I just wanted you to know how I feel without saying the words.”

“I do, you know…” Cloud said and Sephiroth nodded. “I do too.”

 

Later that afternoon they both went off to their respective jobs. Cloud reminded Sephiroth that if he wanted a special order from the deli to call it in before 7 when he got off work so he could pick it up. At the coffee bar Sephiroth wasn’t surprised to see Aerith waiting for him at her usual table. He nodded to let her know he would be over as soon as he had a minute. That minute came too soon for him and he sat down across from her. She looked livid.

“Aerith I’m so sorry.” Sephiroth said knowing that was all he really could say and even that wasn’t going to make her feel any better.

“Are you really? How long has it been going on?” She hissed.

“I’m sorry that you found out the way you did.” Sephiroth replied not knowing how to answer the other question without sounding like he was trying to defend his position.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” 

“Because it just kind of happened. We…”

“Oh never mind. I don’t even know why I came here. You’re sick. No wonder Cloud hated me! He didn’t like sharing you!” She spat and then scraped her chair across the floor and left in a huff. Sephiroth went back to his duties, glad at least that it was over.

 

Across town at the gym Cloud was about to leave so he could pick up dinner and go home. He was in a good mood and singing as he walked out. Halfway to the deli he passed an alley where someone said his name. He paused and looked into the darkness. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me Aerith…I really need to talk to you.” The voice said.

Cloud peered into the alley again. It was too dark to see if it actually was her. He grew up in the home and he used to be a delivery boy for the mafia; he was not an idiot.

"So come out and talk." Cloud said suspiciously.

"I'd really rather didn't see me this way...I've been so upset and...I think I may have hurt myself." She said 

“Call 911.” He said as he walked away whistling.

At the deli he picked up their dinner and went home to wait on Sephiroth. He picked up the laundry and sat down to read. There was a soft knock at the door. He stood and crept to the door hoping it wasn’t that psycho Aerith. He peeped through the door and saw her. Gaaaaahh. 

“What do you want?” Cloud shouted through the door.

“I want to talk to you.” She said knowing that he was looking through the door at her.

“So talk. I’m not letting you in here!” Cloud shouted. “You’re fuckin crazy-trying to get me to come into that alley!”

“Fine then I’ll just go talk to Sephiroth before he comes home to you. You stupid little blonde man stealing faggot!” She shrieked as Cloud heard their neighbor open his door. Cloud winced knowing that the neighbor would get rid of her. Mr. Valentine didn’t like being disturbed. Cloud heard voices and then Aerith ran off down the stairs. Mr. Valentine’s door closed and there was silence again. Sephiroth arrived home and said he hadn’t heard from Aerith any more after her initial visit. They agreed that it would be good when it all blew over. 

 

Weeks went by without a peep from her so they relaxed and went downtown to visit Edge. They hadn’t seen him in such a long time. Walking in at the bar the first person they saw was Reno.   
“Hey guys, long time no see!” Reno said as he waved them over. Sephiroth didn’t feel jealous like he used to and Cloud acted like, well…Cloud.

“What’s up Red?” Cloud said as they sat down at the bar.

“We thought we’d come see Edge; haven’t seen him in forever.” Sephiroth said and Reno nodded.

Edge walked over after hearing his name and said “HEY!!! Look who’s here guys!” 

Cloud and Sephiroth looked down the bar to see Kain and Cecil approaching them smiling. They all hugged and talked and drank until closing time. Cloud and Sephiroth walked out of the bar with their old friends and said goodbye on the street. Cloud had more to drink than Sephiroth so he looked down at the blonde and asked, “Piggy?”

Cloud nodded, smiled and hopped on. They could hear their friends laughing and saying that nothing had changed as Sephiroth carried Cloud up the street on his back. Arriving home Cloud hopped off Sephiroth’s back and kissed him as he swayed drunkenly. “It was soo good to see the guys again.”

“Yeah it was.” Sephiroth agreed as Cloud reached for the light. Sephiroth stopped his hand and said, “Let’s just go to bed.”

Cloud giggled and followed him. After sloppy drunk sex they cuddled and Sephiroth said quietly, “You know… I really do…”

Cloud smiled and said, “I do too.”

 

They slept soundly and never heard the rustle of someone moving about in their apartment. Sephiroth felt Cloud jerk in his sleep so he cuddled him and mumbled, “It’s just a dream Cloud.” Then he rolled onto his back letting Cloud’s head rest on his chest and slept on.

Sephiroth woke before dawn and rolled over because Cloud had drooled all over him again. He chuckled as he pulled the sheet up to wipe himself off and realized the sheet was wet too. “Ugh Cloud…this drooling of yours.”

He reached down to tug Cloud’s thumb out of his mouth but it wasn’t there. That wasn’t normal. What was that smell, Sephiroth wondered as he stroked Cloud’s cold cheek. Something was wrong. Reaching across Cloud to turn the lamp on he panicked. As the lamplight washed over the room Sephiroth began to scream. There was blood everywhere-on Cloud, on the bed, on him. “Wake up Cloud! What’s wrong? What happened! Cloud!” Sephiroth wailed as he touched the chilled skin of the face that stared at nothing; the half open eyes were void of life, lips slightly parted that took no breath. “NOOOO!!!”

Sephiroth scrambled out of the blood soaked bed and ran to Mr. Valentine’s door banging wildly, yelling “Help me!”

Mr. Valentine looked shocked when he opened the door find Sephiroth screaming and crying, naked and covered in blood. He called 911 immediately and grabbed a blanket to wrap Sephiroth in as he tried to calm him down. Sephiroth would not be comforted and insisted on going back to Cloud. He sat on the floor by the bed holding Cloud’s cold lifeless hand crying. The paramedics burst into the bedroom and ushered him away from the body. Soon the apartment was filled with police officers and medics and the coroner. Sephiroth had to be restrained when they were ready to remove the body and Mr. Valentine was there to offer a place for the young man to stay until his apartment could be cleaned. 

The officers asked Sephiroth questions as he sat shivering and crying still wrapped in the blanket and covered in Cloud’s blood. He answered what he could and had the presence of mind to tell the officer about Aerith and the bad break up. It was obvious to the officers that Sephiroth had not committed the murder so they set about looking for evidence. After everyone left except Mr. Valentine and the CSI team, Sephiroth sat dazed from the sedative they had given him. 

“You need to get cleaned up Sephiroth. You don’t need to be here son.” Mr. Valentine said softly. Sephiroth looked at him weakly and nodded. “Would you like to shower at my place? I can get some of your things for you if you can tell me where to find them…” 

Sephiroth just stared blankly ahead. Mr. Valentine stepped to the yellow tape that crossed off the bedroom and spoke to an officer before going back to the sofa where Sephiroth had started to weep again.  
“Come on with me, ok.” He said helping Sephiroth to stand. He followed his neighbor to his apartment and stood silently as he started the shower for him. Leaving the door slightly ajar in case he fell or called out, Mr. Valentine went to his kitchen and started coffee.

Sephiroth stepped into the spray and the warm water brought him around enough that he began to rethink the events of the previous night. Had they forgot to lock the door before they left? Had they locked it behind them when they came home from the bar? It was all his fault. If he had been more honest with Aerith this wouldn’t have happened. If he had been more honest with himself they would have had more time together. Cloud couldn’t be gone. It couldn’t be over already. He was sobbing as he watched the blood tinted water wash down the drain. How was he supposed to live now knowing that the best part of his life was over?

He took the soap and scrubbed until his skin was raw. He washed his hair twice to remove all the blood that had dried in it matting big chunks together. He had never seen so much blood in his life. He dried himself and dressed in the sweats that his good neighbor had placed on the counter for him. Stepping back into the living room he saw a pillow and blanket on the couch for him. Mr. Valentine came out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee and sat them down of the table. 

“Thank you Mr. Valentine.” Sephiroth said as he sat on the sofa and took the coffee.

“Please, call me Vincent. Is there anything you need, anything I can do for you son?”

Sephiroth sipped the coffee and said quietly, “Not unless you can raise the dead…no.”

“I’m so sorry… I gave a statement to the police about that night she was up here banging on your door and yelling at Cloud.” Vincent said as he sipped his coffee.

Sephiroth nodded. “Thank you…and thank you for all of this. I…I couldn’t have stayed there. I would’ve lost my mind. He’s everywhere in that place. Everything was him…he chose all the…he did everything.” Sephiroth began to cry again wondering if it would ever stop. “He was everything to me.” 

Vincent sat by him and put an arm around his shoulders and held his hand while he cried. When he had exhausted himself Vincent covered him with the blanket and crept to the kitchen to use his phone while he slept. 

“Hey street rat, I’ve got some bad news. You may wanna sit.” Vincent said quietly.

“I ain’t sittin for shit boss man, what’s up?” Reno asked as he rolled from his bed and checked the time.

“Your friend Cloud has been murdered.”

“What!? Who would’ve wanted to do that shit? He was a fuckin saint! Do the cops know who did it? Is Sephiroth involved?” Reno was trying to register that Cloud was dead. He had just seen him at the bar the night before.

“No. He’s here with me. His ex-girlfriend did it.” Vincent said bluntly and without question.

“I’ll kill her.” Reno hissed. “I’ll kill that fuckin bitch.”

“Reno, I don’t want you to do that. If you do Sephiroth will be implicated. I have a plan. I’ll send you the details. The cops need to get to her before Sephiroth does.” Vincent said and then hung up the phone. He made a couple more calls and answered a few as he scribbled down information before taking a different phone from his pocket to call the police and tip them off to her location. Walking back to the living room he noticed that Sephiroth had laid down on the pillow. Vincent adjusted his blanket and sat in the chair to watch over him while he slept.


	9. Chapter 9

Aerith was arrested and charged with murder. The trial was grueling for Sephiroth. Proceedings had to be stopped at one point because he had become physically ill on the witness stand. It was presented that she had picked their lock, waited for them to fall asleep then injected Cloud with a tranquilizer before stabbing him through the back seven times with a large kitchen butcher that pierced a kidney, a lung, his liver, and two arteries. He had bled out right there in bed beside Sephiroth.

Vincent watched over him as best he could, but after the cleaners had gone Sephiroth went into his apartment and refused to come out until the trial. Vincent, with the help of Reno and Edge, had been taking food and necessities in to him over the months between the arrest and trial. When the verdict was read and everything was done, Sephiroth left the courtroom with Vincent, Reno, Edge, Kain, Cecil, Rosa, Yuffie, Tifa, and Rydia. He had his family by his side the entire time. 

Everyone wanted to stay with him for a few days or take him back with them but he refused kindly, saying that he just wanted to be alone for a while so they left him after making sure he didn’t need anything more. 

Back in his own apartment Vincent made a call to Reno. “I know where she’s headed. Sentencing won’t be for another month. Get Rosso in there. I want her baked and stuffed. Thanks. Let me know as soon as it’s done.”

He poured a drink and sat thinking about the miserable boy next door. He had made the arrangements for Cloud’s cremation and services. Sephiroth didn’t have the wherewithal to dial a phone then. He thought of the day Cloud’s ashes were delivered and he carried them to Sephiroth. He found him in bed asleep with one of Cloud’s shirts in his hand. When he woke him he couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten or bathed. Vincent shook his head and wondered how long the sad boy would last.

Sephiroth stared out the window of his apartment. How long would it be before he stopped hurting? How long would he have to suffer this life before he could join him? Would he see him in death or would he just be alone somewhere else? Walking into their bedroom, he began to go through Cloud’s things. He never had much, but he was always happy. He found a photo someone at the home had taken of them when they were younger. He was carrying Cloud on his back and they were both laughing. He thought for a moment and then walked over to Vincent’s door.

“Come on in kid.” Vincent said as he opened the door.

Sephiroth stepped inside and stopped. “I’m not hanging around this time. I thought I might go down to the home today and see… just ask if maybe I can volunteer or something. I need to do something with my time…something worthwhile. I just wanted to let you know where I was going…you know…in case you came to check on me…I didn’t want you to worry.”

Vincent looked at him for a long moment and said, “Ok, ok good. I’m glad you’re doing something. That’ll mean so much to the kids down there. Well, I’m sure you know that more than anyone. You do a good thing Seph. You’re gonna be ok.” He hugged him and patted his back then watched him leave. 

It was cold out, so Seph put on his long black coat and his favorite old army boots and struck out. He would glance to his side from time to time half expecting Cloud to be there asking for ‘piggy’. As he walked he thought of all the silly things Cloud used to do to make him laugh, and he smiled. The cold wind whipped his hair and he pulled it over his shoulder to braid it remembering the ridiculous things Cloud did to his hair back then and he smiled again and chuckled to himself.

At the home he spoke with a nurse and the director who decided that he would better serve as an employee and gave him the position of youth counselor. He was free to spend as much time with the kids as he wanted. They talked at length about Cloud and Sephiroth asked had anyone ever contacted them…possibly a family member who had heard of his passing and they said no. Apparently Cloud Strife was still as unwanted by his family in death as he had been in life and that made Sephiroth sad.

“Let’s go introduce you to everyone, shall we?” the director of the home said.

Everyone was called to the rec room and the first thing that happened broke Sephiroth. Hope ran to him and threw his arms around him and began to cry. “I’m so sorry about Cloud.”

Sephiroth hugged him tight and looked around at all the young faces looking up at him. He swallowed back the misery and comforted Hope. Snow had aged out and left the home the week before Cloud had died and the two events left poor Hope devastated. 

“I didn’t know what to do when he left…and then Cloud…everybody here looks up to me and they expect me to always have the answers. Why do they think I know everything?” Hope said as he collected himself.

Smiling and looking into his eyes Sephiroth said, “It’s the hair.” He grinned remembering that Edge had said the same thing to him when he was much younger.

Hope grinned and said, “Yeah the girls are all about that shit…stuff.”

Sephiroth laughed out loud surprising himself and then waited for the director to speak. When his introduction was made he looked around for new faces as the other kids crowded around him to talk about the fun they all had on his last visit. When they began to disperse, satisfied that the General wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, he noticed a kid hanging back in the crowd. He was tiny, with silver hair and huge green eyes that glowed like they were back lit. He asked Hope about him. 

“That’s Kadaj. He’s new. He was in pretty bad shape when he got here…looks a lot better now but the DN says he’s probably a lifer cause he has violent tendencies. He was brought in after he tried to kill himself. His mom’s in jail. He’s PA…and SA. I tried to get him to talk but he’s a hard nut to crack.” 

Sephiroth nodded and walked over to the boy who was sitting alone staring at the windows of the rec room. “Hi Kadaj, can I sit with you?”

Kadaj nodded as he looked up at Sephiroth. 

“So…you like it here so far?”

Kadaj nodded again and looked away from the window to Sephiroth’s hair. “Are you Hope’s brother?”

Sephiroth smiled and said, “In a way. I used to live here too.”

Kadaj stared at him untrusting.

“How old are you Kadaj?” Sephiroth asked as he watched as small hands began to pick at chewed off nails.

“Nine.” Kadaj said as he continued to stare at Sephiroth’s hair to avoid his eyes.

“Wanna go get a snack with me?” Sephiroth asked watching for signs of panic or stress.

Kadaj’s eyes met his and Sephiroth was screaming inside at the pain and fear in the boy’s gaze as he nodded. Sephiroth smiled in spite of his insides melting and his broken heart aching. He turned his back to Kadaj and pulled his hair around then patted his shoulder and said, “Wanna piggy?”

A small face peered around his shoulder and said, “What’s piggy?” Sephiroth smiled and showed Kadaj how to hold on then carried him off to raid the cafeteria.

 

A few weeks later Sephiroth was talking to Vincent about the kids at the home when Vincent’s phone rang. “Excuse me Seph. I need to take this.” Sephiroth nodded as Vincent stepped out of the room. 

“It’s done boss man, just like you wanted yo.” Reno said.

“Good. Report.” Vincent ordered.

“She was burned until she fell unconscious. When she came around she was partially disemboweled and then asphyxiated with her entrails.” Reno said then gagged.

“Good enough. Thank you. I have something for you later meet me at Edge’s.” Vincent said as he hung up the phone and returned to Sephiroth and his coffee.

“That was one of my people. It seems that Aerith was brutally murdered while awaiting sentencing.” Vincent said and took a sip of his coffee.

“Good. I hope she suffered.” Sephiroth said flatly. 

“I’m sure she did.” Vincent added.

 

Sephiroth enjoyed is work with the kids and Kadaj was really starting to blossom. He began to play with the other kids and only became violent when he felt he was being restrained in some way. Unfortunately this included hugs that took too long but he was still in therapy. He spent an hour all by himself with the General which made him feel good about himself. He was proud that he could have him all to himself for a while. Sometimes he would disclose things that Sephiroth wished he could wipe from the boy’s memory. Other times Kadaj asked Sephiroth questions that were hard to answer.

“Why do people say they love other people? I don’t understand. Nobody ever said they loved me. Do you have to be a grown up to say that?” Kadaj picked at the Band-Aids that the General had wrapped around his finger tips to help him stop picking at his bloody nails. 

“Love is a feeling, Kadaj. You can love someone without ever saying the words.” Sephiroth said as the boy listened closely then asked, “How do you know?”

“Well let’s see…what’s the best feeling you ever had?” Sephiroth steepled his fingers as he watched the child think hard about what little kindness he had experienced in his 9 years.

Kadaj’s eyes lit up and Sephiroth could tell by his face he had thought of something wonderful then he said, “When you let me piggy!”

Sephiroth laughed with the boy and said happily, “That’s love Kadaj. That feeling of trust and peace and happiness…that is love. And you feel it even if the words aren’t said.”

Kadaj’s hour was up and he went around the desk and hugged the General like he always did but this time he whispered. “I don’t wanna say it.”

Sephiroth fought back the tears and said, “You don’t have to.”

 

On weekends Sephiroth had stopped bothering Vincent and started hanging around at Edge’s. He had bought the bar where he worked and changed the name. Reno was there more often than not and they had become closer as time went on. Sephiroth still had no idea that Reno reported to his reclusive neighbor or that either of them had any involvement with Aerith’s untimely end. Reno was happy to keep it that way. 

On Sephiroth’s 21st birthday they threw him a party at Edge’s. Sephiroth got trashed and Reno volunteered to see him home. The walk was pretty uneventful until Sephiroth began to sing at the top of his lungs. Reno was laughing so hard that the noise went on longer than it should have. As they walked lights were coming on, dogs were barking, and cats were fleeing their path. Reno laughed and did the pee-pee dance at the same time and finally side-stepped into an alley to take a leak. Catching up to the singing General who hadn’t even missed him Reno said, “Hey General Sir, pipe down!”

Sephiroth laughed. “Sorry Reno. I got carried away.”

Reno snickered and patted his back, “It’s cool yo. You deserve to get a little carried away after all it’s your birthday.” 

“Yes, that it is.” Sephiroth said and Reno noticed a familiar scowl settle on his features.

“Come on now, Seph. Don’t go there yo.” Reno said as he put a hand on the small of Sephiroth’s back as much for comfort as it was a guide to keep him from weaving from side to side. They climbed the stairs to the apartment and Reno waited as Sephiroth unlocked the door then turned to say goodbye. 

“You can come in if you want.” Sephiroth muttered. Reno hadn’t been inside the apartment since the last day of the trial except to drop off food a few times. The thought of going in there to sit and be social at night where his ex was murdered made his skin crawl. He opened his mouth to decline the offer and he thought about how Sephiroth must feel.

“Yeah sure. I’ll hang out a bit yo. You got beer?” He said grinning.

“Of course.” Sephiroth laughed.

They sat on the sofa and gossiped about everyone who was at the party. “Did you see Cecil and Rosa? Those kids must be wearin them down yo.” Reno laughed making Sephiroth snicker as he drank his beer.

“Kain looks exactly the same though.” Sephiroth said and Reno nodded in agreement as he looked around at the apartment. It was neat and orderly and there were only a couple pictures of Cloud…no signs of unhealthy prolonged grieving. Reno thought for a half a second before he decided to poke the bear. It had been 3 years after all. 

“Wow, that’s a really good picture of Cloud.” Reno said casually as he picked up the frame.

Sephiroth smiled, “Yeah. That one always makes me smile. What happened was awful but he wouldn’t want me to be miserable forever…or maybe he would.” 

They both laughed remembering how over the top Cloud was about everything. 

“He was soo funny.” Reno said with a smile placing the frame back on the shelf. Sephiroth seemed to be in a good place and Reno felt relieved but there was one more thing he wanted to check for. Excusing himself to the bathroom he quietly looked through the medicine cabinet and all the drawers. In the top drawer all the way at the back he found it. There was a box of disposable syringes and five vials of lithium. Maybe he wasn’t using it anymore he thought. Maybe just needed it back then and kept it around to help him sleep.

Reno exited the bathroom to find the bedroom door ajar and Sephiroth nowhere in sight. Pecking on the open door to the bedroom, he stepped inside. Sephiroth must have been changing clothes because he looked over his shoulder and said, “Come on in.” and he was wearing sweats and pulling a white beater over his head.

Reno admired the view and whistled making Sephiroth laugh then he caught a glimpse of a bruise in the bend of his arm. Without thinking of the implications, he strode across the room and grabbed his arm, “What is this Seph?”

Sephiroth looked down at his arm having sobered up considerably and shrugged his shoulders.

“What does that mean?” Reno asked still holding his arm.

Sephiroth looked down at the evidence that he wasn’t coping as well as everyone thought and as he did his hair fell around his shoulder partially hiding his face. Reno reached up and pushed some hair behind his ear and said, “I know you’re usin…but I wanna know what you’re usin.”

Sephiroth looked at Reno and sighed. “Am I about to get the speech on healthy grieving and shit because I really don’t think I need it again. Cloud is dead. I am not. I get it. I’m doing something constructive with my time as recommended. I don’t obsess. I don’t live in the past. I don’t wish to die…”

“OK! I see there’s nothing I can do here so I may as well let you get back to your coping yo. As well as you constructive free time occupation that takes you around emotionally damaged children who have no idea that their hero is a junkie. And by the way, while you’re busy not obsessing or living in the past let me remind you that you are currently killing yourself whether you wish to or not yo.” Reno released Sephiroth’s arm and turned to go then stopped, turning to face the man who had become his friend through shared tragedy. 

“You know what…No. I have seen too many motherfuckers go out like this and you are too goddamn important to too many fuckin people to do this shit. I will NOT sit idly by and watch you die.” Reno walked over to the bedside table where a wooden jewelry box sat and popped the lid open. “Ha…here we go…a few pharmaceuticals…some blow…wow…you’re a pretty well rounded guy.”

Sephiroth sat on the edge of the bed and watched Reno sort through his drugs and chewed his lip. “Well, what then Reno? How the fuck am I supposed to sleep? I haven’t slept without somethin in three fuckin years. I’m so goddamn tired but I can’t sleep. I lie here and every time I close my eyes I see his dead fuckin eyes and smell the blood. It never stops…” By the time he had stopped speaking his head was completely bowed and his hair hung past his bent knees.

Reno stood for a moment before he reached out to lay a hand on his shaking shoulder. “Seph…I’m not gonna stand here and tell you it’ll be ok…but I will promise you this: If you wanna try…I’ll help you.”

Sephiroth reached up and covered Reno’s hand with his own and nodded his bowed head. Reno put an arm around him pulling him close letting him rest his head against him as he stood by the bed. The harder Sephiroth cried, the tighter Reno held him until Sephiroth was holding onto him with both hands openly weeping. Reno waited him out and when he quieted he lifted his chin and wiped his face with the brush of a hand. 

“Here’s what I want you to do yo. Get some things together and come with me. You can stay at my place for a while and we’ll get this sleeping thing sorted.” Sephiroth looked miserable but he nodded then looked around. “I know you don’t wanna leave yo but it’ll help to be away from here at night for a bit…just until you can sleep.” Reno assured him.

“Can I take…” He was reaching for a picture of Cloud that sat by his bed.

“Yes. Absolutely.” Reno said and he helped him gather his things and made sure the drugs stayed.

On the way to Reno’s place Sephiroth said, “I’m gonna be sick tomorrow you know.”

Reno nodded. “Yep, you’re gonna feel like shit. Been through it myself. I’ll take care of ya, don’t worry yo. We got this.”


	10. Chapter 10

If Sephiroth was a betting man, he would have put his money on this not being the apartment of a 21 year old, technically unemployed college kid. It was larger than the apartment Sephiroth lived in and in a better neighborhood. Inside was cool and clean and everything looked reasonably new. He wondered how long Reno had lived there. He wondered if Cloud had ever been there. While he had been working at the home Reno had been going to the local university and was set to graduate in the spring.

Sephiroth followed Reno on the short tour of his apartment and when they came to the bedroom that would be his temporary home Reno said, “You can drop your stuff here yo, but if you wanna sleep somewhere else, you can. Just as long as you’re comfortable and get some rest.”

Sephiroth nodded and put his things by the dresser. “Thank you Reno. I don’t know what to say really other than thank you.” Sephiroth looked exhausted. “I didn’t set out to become a drug addict and I never planned to be a burden to my friends but it seems I’ve become both of those things.”

Reno turned to face Sephiroth and took both his hands, lacing their fingers together. “First of all, friends cannot be a burden if they’re real friends yo, second I told ya I’ve been through this myself.” Reno swung their clasped hands then pulled Sephiroth forward and laid his head on his chest, still holding his hands. Sephiroth propped his chin on Reno’s head and sighed. Reno always knew what to say.

He had come to depend on his friendship more and more since Cloud had died and was afraid that he asked too much of the red head. “I just don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for all you’ve done for me since Cloud passed.” Sephiroth said honestly. He rubbed Reno’s hands with his thumbs and closed his eyes to focus on how good everything smelled there and the peace he felt however briefly.

After a moment Reno released his hands and clapped them to his waist. Looking up at his friend he smirked, “I’m sure you’ll think of somethin yo.” Reno grinned and Sephiroth snickered and waggled his eyebrows making Reno cackle. “I won’t turn it down if you’re offerin, General Hotness.”

Sephiroth laughed as he bent o unpack his bag. “Can I get a shower to wash the ‘bar’ off?”

“Sure. I’m gonna call and get us some food yo. What do you like?” Reno said as he walked away from Sephiroth. Not hearing a reply he turned around to see Sephiroth placing his hearing aids on the dresser. Reno’s mind flashed back to the way Cloud would always tap Sephiroth’s arm before speaking out of habit even after he got the aids.

He casually walked back over and touched his elbow. Sephiroth looked around and raised his eyebrows, “Hmm?”

“I’m getting some food. What do ya like?” Reno asked, still holding on to the taller man’s arm.

“Anything is fine…surprise me.” Sephiroth smiled and Reno nodded and dropped his hand as he walked away again.

 

After his shower and late night dinner Sephiroth was getting cranky. He should have been relaxed and ready for sleep but he didn’t have his usual bedtime snack of sedatives. Reno had showered and changed into his pajamas and they were looking for a movie to watch. “Do you like old movies yo?” Reno asked passively as scrolled through the guide.

Sephiroth laughed and forgot about how crappy he felt as he began to tell Reno about the dollar movies and Bette Davis. They laughed and before long he began to get sleepy. “I think I’m gonna try to get some sleep.” Sephiroth said as he rose from the sofa stretching his long arms over his head.

Reno nodded. “Ok I’ll be right here if you need anything yo.”

“You’re not going to bed?” Sephiroth asked puzzled.

“I can sleep here. If you been using every night then by mornin you’re gonna be a case. I’ll feel better if I’m between you and the door yo.” Reno smiled making Sephiroth grin.

“Will it be that bad?” He asked the red head.

“Was for me.” Reno answered as he stood and wrapped his friend in a hug.

Sephiroth hugged him and kissed the top of his head mumbling something about ‘short ass people’. Reno smiled and breathed in the scent of soap and shampoo and something sweet. “Will you tell me about it sometime?” Sephiroth asked and Reno felt the words rumble through his chest.

He nodded and stepped out of the hug. “I will, but only after this is over yo. You’re not gonna wanna hear a word I got to say in about 24 hours.” Reno said as he picked up a cigarette and headed for the small balcony. Sephiroth nodded and retreated to his designated room.

 

Crawling into the bed he looked at the photo of Cloud that he had placed on the night stand before he closed his eyes. Everything in the room was crisp and fresh and for a moment Sephiroth thought he would sleep well. He began to doze and started to feel cold. His chest felt like there was a piece of ice melting on it. Pulling his hands to his chest bunching the covers there he tried to ignore it. His mind drifted to happier times when Cloud would sleep there and drool would run down from where he sucked his thumb. He felt chills on his arms and shivered. There was a restlessness that came over him at night that he couldn’t escape but after tossing and turning for a while he finally dozed off.

Reno watched form the doorway for a while and then went to the sofa to get a little sleep. He woke at 3 a.m. when he felt a bump against his arm and pressure on his thigh. Eyes snapping open he realized that he had fallen asleep sitting up and Sephiroth had come and lay his head on his lap. Reno reached down and petted the silver hair.

Sephiroth mumbled, “The bed’s wet…I couldn’t sleep.” Reno massaged his scalp until he heard a light snore and he dozed back off himself. When he woke again two hours later Sephiroth was gone from his lap and he heard retching noises coming from the bathroom. He scrambled to his side with a cold cloth for his face. As soon as he was sure his friend wouldn’t fall over onto the tile and get a concussion he went got some medicine to ease his pain. Sephiroth looked miserable in every sense of the word.

Reno got him back to bed and went to call the home leaving a message that Sephiroth was sick and would probably be out for a few days. Returning to the bed he fell in with his friend and went to sleep. Screams woke him after a short while and he comforted the crying man. Off and on throughout the day the cycle continued: sick, sleep, scream. The next night was worse: sick, sweat, scream, sleep- in shorter intervals.

Reno was exhausted and trying to eat a bit but he kept dozing off. Finally he folded his arms on the table and lay his head down to sleep until the next round. Screaming and bumping and crying woke him and he ran to the bedroom to find that Sephiroth had effectively gotten between the mattresses on the bed and refused to come out. He knew that pleading would do no good so he sat down in the floor and talked to him until he fell asleep again.

He only slept for half an hour and was awake again rambling about the blood and Cloud.

On the third day Reno managed to get him to shower. While he bathed Reno rushed around changing bed linens and getting fresh blankets. When Sephiroth emerged from the bathroom he saw Reno lying face down on the bed with his head on his folded arms, sleeping soundly. He crept over and lay down on the bed, on top of the covers so as not to disturb his friend. As Reno slept Sephiroth looked at his hair. That was the craziest shade of red and it always seemed to be sticking up somewhere. He gently tugged the elastic holding the long red ponytail releasing it. He ran his fingers through it and thought of how it felt like silk threads. The longer he played with Reno’s hair the more relaxed he became and finally dozed back off to sleep.

 

When he woke again Reno was curled around him with his head resting on his shoulder. At some point they had gotten under the covers and Reno was in pajamas again. He had no idea what day it was or the last time heat ate. He rolled to face Reno dumping his head on the pillow. Reno wrinkled his nose then snuggled farther under the blanket. He must be cold Sephiroth thought as he wrapped long arms around the red head pulling him close. He could feel the guilt like cold rain dripping down his back. He shouldn’t be cuddling in bed with someone else. He was never going to be any good for anyone. Reno shifted in bed and threw his leg across Sephiroth’s hip; the slow rhythmic breaths never wavering.

Sephiroth pulled back enough to look at his sleeping face. He was beautiful. His skin was smooth and white, his thin lips were a dark blush, and his eyelashes and brows were actually the deepest shade of red that he had ever seen. He had noticed how thin Reno was and wondered if it was a metabolism thing or if he didn’t eat enough. Sephiroth took Reno’s hands and pressed his lips to them before closing his eyes.

As his eyes closed Reno’s opened. He watched the silver haired man sleep as tears slid from the corner of his eyes. He was a beautiful tragedy. Reno had grown up relatively well off. He went to catholic school and was an altar boy. His parents loved him and gave him the support he needed emotionally and financially in order to prosper. He had worked hard in school and despite being a top student he surrounded himself with friends who were ‘real’. No fake ass snotty rich kids or aloof preppy boys appealed to him so he befriended the riff-raff and felt right at home.

He did what he needed to do to excel in school and ended up picking up a job as a delivery boy for the mafia boss Valentine when he was barely a teenager. He didn’t get dangerous drops at first but then Rude had taught him to shoot and he stepped up in rank. By 16 he had people working under him and by the time he graduated he was Vincent’s ace. He was the go to guy if Vince needed someone to disappear.

College had been one big party and that’s how he ended up in rehab for the entire summer break before his junior year. Now he was almost ready to graduate and go on to med school. He knew years ago that he had what it took to be a surgeon. Reno had no issues looking at or working closely with the internal workings of a body and his parents were thrilled and he was happily pursuing his dream.

Reaching up to touch Sephiroth’s face, he thought of the home and his dedication to the kids there. He wondered what it was like to be him. He had been to the home lots of times and the kids there looked happy for the most part. God knows Cloud was always happy enough to compensate for the few who weren’t. Sephiroth always seemed like he had it together…guess that’s why the little one’s started calling him that name. Sephiroth would be going back to the home to work in a couple days and Reno would be back in class. He traced a silver eyebrow with his fingertip. Seph didn’t look real when he was still like that Reno thought. He traced the shape of his lips and smirked when he thought of all the times he had seen Seph laugh and every single time he stared at that smile; those lips…Reno touched the lips and then gently sneaked a kiss. He didn’t want to wake Sephiroth so he left it at that and closed his eyes.

When his were closed Sephiroth’s popped open. He gathered Reno to him and tucked his head under his chin. Reno mumbled and Sephiroth could feel the vibrations of his voice so he loosened his death grip enough to let him speak. “I said I’m sorry if I woke you.” Reno spoke into his ear.

Sephiroth shivered and shook his head ‘no’ then he lifted Reno’s chin and kissed him. Reno immediately reached up and touched the corner of Sephiroth’s mouth as their lips met. He felt a tiny sharp intake of breath when his middle finger tugged slightly at the bottom lip. Sephiroth kissed him deeply then as if he had asked him to with the gentle gesture. Reno moaned and melted against him. This was everything he thought it would be.

Wrapping his fingers in endless silver threads he tugged gently as Sephiroth’s hand traced up his side to his chest and then back down to his waist where it gripped and squeezed before moving around to his lower back, pulling them together. Within seconds Reno was on his back and Sephiroth was an octopus. If this has started as a game of cat and mouse it had become a game of man-eating tiger and squeaky toy. Each time Reno moaned Sephiroth became more aggressive. He thought of telling him to slow down and back off but did he really want that? What he really wanted was to be swept away.

Sephiroth divested them both of their pajamas and sat up on his knees looking down at Reno. “You’re beautiful” he said as he brushed fingertips down Reno’s chest and stomach. Reno knew how thin and pale he was and didn’t think beautiful figured into that at all but the man was entitled to his opinion. Something must have showed on his face because Sephiroth said, “You are beautiful Reno…on the inside as well as the outside.”

That statement hit his heart and caught him completely off guard. Before he could object, Sephiroth picked him up off the bed as he sat back pulling Reno onto his lap. He raised Reno up to his knees as and ran his hands from his shoulder blades down his back, over the curve of his ass, and down the backs of his thighs. Reno took his face in his hands and kissed him deeply stroking his cheek then his neck as he pushed the long silver hair away. Sephiroth had been alone for three years and was so starved for intimate contact that the surge of passion he felt for the red head frightened him a little. He made up his mind to take it slow and savor every moment.

Reno had done so much for him without even realizing the depth of meaning in the things he did. He allowed Sephiroth to be himself. He didn’t have to be strong and cheerful. He didn’t have to pretend that he was healed from the past. All he needed to be was honest.

Having the drugs out of his system made everything intense and there were moments he didn’t think he would be able to get his breath but Reno somehow understood and kissed him softly and whispered things into his ear to sooth him. His body was weak from days of withdrawals but there was no sign of fatigue as he explored the red head’s body, memorizing every dip and curve, every plane and angle. He saw no scars, no flaws, and no fault. Reno let him do whatever he wanted. When Sephiroth’s muscles seemed to turn to stone from tension Reno whispered into his ear, “Let me do this…let me make you feel good.”

Sephiroth wrapped his arms around Reno and rolled them over. Reno sat up so he could look down into the sad eyes. Sephiroth had been so careful with him and now he wanted to show him that he wouldn’t break. The way Reno looked down at him as he sat on him stroking his chest and stomach muscles: red hair against stark white skin, fire in his green eyes, made Sephiroth forget everything else.

The pain fell away as Reno worshipped his body and whispered things against his skin, feathery touches of lips that seemed to sooth and heal as they went. Sephiroth could feel the urgency in the way Reno moved so he grasped his hips tighter and rose to meet him making Reno cry out. Exhausted, Reno leaned down to cover his mouth with his own and Sephiroth took the opportunity to flip him back over onto his back. Reno was reminded of his strength as he lifted his entire lower body with a strategically placed hand and used the other to shove a pillow under his ass before further testing Reno’s breakability.

Reno quickly figured out the hair pulling with Sephiroth and neither of them lasted long after that. Lying in a heap on top of the red head Sephiroth mumbled, “Goddamn…that was (pant)…you are (pant)…fiend.”

Reno laughed and stroked his hair and picking the sweaty strands free that were stuck to both of them. “Did you ever think that you might illicit that type of behavior in otherwise chaste individuals yo?”

Sephiroth laughed out loud. “No.” Reno laughed and wiggled so that Sephiroth would laugh more. He adored the sound that had been so rare over the last three years.


	11. Chapter 11

Sephiroth spent more and more time at the home and with Reno. They had developed a relationship but not a love affair, not on Sephiroth’s part anyway. He was afraid go get too attached to anyone after Cloud. Reno understood but that didn’t make it any easier on his heart so after two years he cut Sephiroth loose. One morning after they had spent the weekend in bed Sephiroth noticed that Reno was unusually quiet. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he snuggled Reno.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore yo.” Reno said sadly. “I know why you feel the way you feel and I understand, I really do…but I need more…and I know you’ll never be able to give it to me.”

Sephiroth nodded and kissed his hair. “I understand…I wish that I could be what you needed Reno. My heart just…”

“No need to explain yo. I know your heart belongs to Cloud. I could never be selfish enough to ask you to give that up.” Reno sighed and then got up to shower. Sephiroth lay contemplating what his life would be like without Reno. He thought about how much more of this life he had to endure before he could rejoin Cloud. He thought about the kids at the home then he got up and made coffee for his friend.

 

Sephiroth made great progress with Kadaj and soon he was helping the other children at the home. He was very protective of his family there and it made Sephiroth proud. He spent so much time at the home he neglected many other everyday things and didn’t notice at first when his health began to decline. He was always tired and took short naps during the day but he had no more trouble sleeping at night. 

Ten years had passed since Cloud died. Reno was happily in love with a man named Tseng. They had dinner out with Sephiroth often and the two began to notice that he seemed more fatigued each time they saw him. Concerned with his health, they begged him to go for a check-up with his doctor. Sephiroth relented and was surprised when his doctor ordered further tests. “Hey guys, how’s it going?” Sephiroth said cheerily as Reno and Tseng joined him.

“We’re good. What the doc say yo?” Reno said getting straight to the point. Tseng chuckled knowing that Reno wouldn’t cut anyone any slack.

“The doc sent me for more tests…said I was anemic and blah blah whatever.” Sephiroth said. “I’m hungry, let’s eat.”

“When do you get test results?” Tseng asked as they pondered menus.

“Two weeks…can’t wait.” Sephiroth grumbled making the other two laugh.

Two weeks later he was back at the doctor’s office for test results he was shocked to find that he had a form of cancer that was almost unheard of in a person his age. He was trying to get his mind around it when the doctor told him that he should get his affairs in order.

"What? Are you saying that I'm going to die?" Sephiroth said feeling his chest tighten. 

"Yes...I'm afraid that there is little we can do to fight this and the treatment that we have will increase your time minimally but unfortunately will also cause you more pain and you'll need round the clock care. Do you have anyone who could stay with you?” The doctor asked as kindly as he could, knowing of Sephiroth’s history at the home. 

“Not really…no one that I would want to impose upon…how long do I have?” Sephiroth asked still trying to process. 

“Less than six months I’m afraid…from your levels I would say closer to four. We can give you a transfusion today and it will perk you up some but don't overdo it and please do your best to avoid injury. I'm very sorry." The doctor said honestly. He knew that Sephiroth had worked tirelessly at the home and genuinely cared for the children there. Sephiroth left the office with mixed feelings and called Reno. 

"Hey Seph, how's it going?" Reno asked knowing that he was supposed to see the doctor and anxious for news.

"Good...um... Are you busy?" Sephiroth tried his best to keep his emotions in check when he heard Reno’s voice.

"No. Not at all... Want me to come by the home?”

"No...I'll be at my place. Is that OK?"

"Sure. See you in a bit." Reno said not able to disguise the worry in his tone.

"Thanks Reno…bring Tseng with you if you can."

Reno and Tseng arrived and were floored at the news. "You two are the closest friends I have so I was hoping that you could take care of anything that needs to be done after... I think I can do most of it beforehand but there may be..." Sephiroth shook his head. "There may be other things. I don't have much, but what I have is yours...I'll seeing a lawyer later this week and make sure there's very little left to do after." Reno stared and said nothing. 

"Thank you guys… for everything." Sephiroth said as the tears wouldn’t wait any longer.

"Don't do that yo. Don't say goodbye to me right now. Just don't..." They held Sephiroth as they all cried.

 

After a month Sephiroth had begun spending less time at the home and sleeping more. He was tired all the time and his bones felt achy. Reno and Tseng came over to watch movies with him and often ended up tucking him into bed before they left.

After the second month he asked for an increase on his pain meds and resigned his position at the home. He was given a going away party and everyone was emotional. He went home depressed and miserable. Noticing that he was losing weight pretty rapidly, he kept a closer eye on his diet and ate foods that would give him more energy. Nothing really helped. He was dying.

Another month passed and he stayed in bed most of the time. The most he did was sit on the sofa and watch old movies in a haze of painkillers. Reno and Tseng came over often and did things around the apartment and hung out keeping him company when he was awake. 

“I should go to the hospice house.” Sephiroth said to Tseng one afternoon.

“But you love it here. Do you really want to leave?” Tseng said, not wanting him to go but not willing to deny Sephiroth any wish.

“I’m happy here…I just feel like you two have put your lives on hold to take care of me. You should be spending time with one another and not here playing nursemaid to me.”

“But Seph there is no place we would rather be than spending this time with you.” Tseng said as he smiled and grasped his friend’s hand. 

Sephiroth smiled and shook his head. “In my life, I have known the most caring and unique individuals…and I feel blessed to have been a part of your lives.”

 

Soon he couldn't get out of bed for more than a walk to the bathroom and that was dangerous. He slid along the wall and held onto Tseng. When he was done Reno would be waiting to help him back to bed. He was a walking skeleton having lost all his muscle mass over the course of the disease. Reno prepared his food and kept him hydrated. They both tried to keep his spirits up and keep the mood light. 

Two weeks after his last med increase Reno called hospice and requested morphine drops because Sephiroth was moaning in his sleep from pain. Reno finally talked him into a catheter so the bathroom trips were less frequent as were linen changes. Soon was sleeping most of the day as well as night. 

 

One Morning when Tseng woke him for breakfast he seemed unusually lucid and talkative. They chatted about the weather and the upcoming holidays. His bony arms and legs were covered in dark bruises and his long fingers were claws. His gums and nose bled frequently but he seemed to accept that it was all part of the process he had to endure to reach his end. "I’m ready. I dreamed about Cloud last night. He said he would be right here when it happens. He promised me. He told me not to be afraid." Sephiroth explained to Reno.

"Of course he'll be here. Love like you guys have is forever Seph." Reno said as his heart was crushed but also lightened at the idea of his friend being unafraid. After his breakfast of oatmeal- extra soupy he dozed back off to sleep. Reno sat for a moment watching his chest rise and fall then he slipped quietly from the room.

“Tseng, I’m not ready to let him go.” Reno wept. Tseng held him while he cried and explained to him that Sephiroth was in no condition to be clinging to life. 

“He will be free of that body soon Reno…and he will be with Cloud again. That’s all he wants. As much as we’ll miss him, we should try to want that for him as well.” Tseng whispered.

 

That same night Sephiroth had a massive stroke and could no longer speak. The hospice nurse came out and checked all his vitals and told Reno and Tseng he would probably go in the next 48 hours. The next day he didn't move and could only moan as they tried to make him comfortable. They gave him his liquid meal through a straw of which he only took a few sips. That evening Reno braided his hair and gave him his morphine before sitting down in the chair that stayed by his bed to doze.

Sephiroth woke to see the love of his life. "Come on Seph It's time to go baby." Cloud said.

"It is? I'm done?" Sephiroth said hearing Cloud but not seeing him.

"Yes. It's time for us to be together again." Clouds voice said.

At that moment Sephiroth began to feel lighter and he was able to focus his eyes on Cloud. He was just as beautiful as ever and he smiling that silly smile. Sephiroth jumped off the bed and wrapped himself around his angel. "I've missed you so much. I should have said the words." 

"The words wouldn't have changed anything. I knew how you felt." Cloud said hugging him back and kissing his lips. "Piggy?"

“Absolutely!” Sephiroth laughed. 

As Cloud hopped on board and lay his head on Sephiroth’s shoulder he said, “I really do…you know?”

Sephiroth turned and smiled, “I do too.”

 

Reno woke at 3 a.m. because it was too quiet. Sephiroth was gone. He checked for a pulse and then called hospice. There was very little to be done after that. Reno cried as his body was removed and he and Tseng lit candles and stayed up until dawn.

In the Lifestream Sephiroth held onto Cloud as he was granted knowledge of all the lives he had ever lived and Cloud had been a part of every single one.


End file.
